diff --git "a/res/henryiv_part2.txt" "b/res/henryiv_part2.txt" new file mode 100644--- /dev/null +++ "b/res/henryiv_part2.txt" @@ -0,0 +1,4971 @@ +Henry IV, Part 2 +by William Shakespeare + + +Characters in the Play +====================== +RUMOR, Presenter of the Induction +KING HENRY IV, formerly Henry Bolingbroke +PRINCE HAL, Prince of Wales and heir to the throne, later KING HENRY V +Younger sons of King Henry IV: + JOHN OF LANCASTER + THOMAS OF CLARENCE + HUMPHREY OF GLOUCESTER +EARL OF NORTHUMBERLAND, Henry Percy +NORTHUMBERLAND'S WIFE +LADY PERCY, widow of Hotspur +In rebellion against King Henry IV: + Richard Scroop, ARCHBISHOP of York + LORD MOWBRAY + LORD HASTINGS + LORD BARDOLPH + TRAVERS + MORTON + SIR JOHN COLEVILE +Supporters of King Henry IV: + EARL OF WESTMORELAND + EARL OF WARWICK + EARL OF SURREY + SIR JOHN BLUNT + GOWER + HARCOURT +LORD CHIEF JUSTICE +SIR JOHN FALSTAFF +POINS +BARDOLPH +PETO +PISTOL +FALSTAFF'S PAGE +HOSTESS of the tavern (also called Mistress Quickly) +DOLL TEARSHEET +JUSTICE ROBERT SHALLOW +JUSTICE SILENCE +DAVY, servant to Shallow +Men of Gloucestershire: + MOULDY + SHADOW + WART + FEEBLE + BULLCALF +London officers: + FANG + SNARE +EPILOGUE +Drawers, Musicians, Beadles, Grooms, Messenger, Soldiers, Lords, Attendants, Page, Porter, Servants, Officers + + +INDUCTION +========= +[Enter Rumor, painted full of tongues.] + + +RUMOR +Open your ears, for which of you will stop +The vent of hearing when loud Rumor speaks? +I, from the orient to the drooping west, +Making the wind my post-horse, still unfold +The acts commenced on this ball of earth. +Upon my tongues continual slanders ride, +The which in every language I pronounce, +Stuffing the ears of men with false reports. +I speak of peace while covert enmity +Under the smile of safety wounds the world. +And who but Rumor, who but only I, +Make fearful musters and prepared defense +Whiles the big year, swoll'n with some other grief, +Is thought with child by the stern tyrant war, +And no such matter? Rumor is a pipe +Blown by surmises, jealousies, conjectures, +And of so easy and so plain a stop +That the blunt monster with uncounted heads, +The still-discordant wav'ring multitude, +Can play upon it. But what need I thus +My well-known body to anatomize +Among my household? Why is Rumor here? +I run before King Harry's victory, +Who in a bloody field by Shrewsbury +Hath beaten down young Hotspur and his troops, +Quenching the flame of bold rebellion +Even with the rebels' blood. But what mean I +To speak so true at first? My office is +To noise abroad that Harry Monmouth fell +Under the wrath of noble Hotspur's sword, +And that the King before the Douglas' rage +Stooped his anointed head as low as death. +This have I rumored through the peasant towns +Between that royal field of Shrewsbury +And this worm-eaten hold of ragged stone, +Where Hotspur's father, old Northumberland, +Lies crafty-sick. The posts come tiring on, +And not a man of them brings other news +Than they have learnt of me. From Rumor's +tongues +They bring smooth comforts false, worse than +true wrongs. +[Rumor exits.] + + +ACT 1 +===== + +Scene 1 +======= +[Enter the Lord Bardolph at one door.] + + +LORD BARDOLPH +Who keeps the gate here, ho? + +[Enter the Porter.] + +Where is the Earl? + +PORTER +What shall I say you are? + +LORD BARDOLPH Tell thou the Earl +That the Lord Bardolph doth attend him here. + +PORTER +His Lordship is walked forth into the orchard. +Please it your Honor knock but at the gate +And he himself will answer. + +[Enter the Earl Northumberland, his head wrapped in a +kerchief and supporting himself with a crutch.] + + +LORD BARDOLPH Here comes the Earl. +[Porter exits.] + +NORTHUMBERLAND +What news, Lord Bardolph? Every minute now +Should be the father of some stratagem. +The times are wild. Contention, like a horse +Full of high feeding, madly hath broke loose +And bears down all before him. + +LORD BARDOLPH Noble earl, +I bring you certain news from Shrewsbury. + +NORTHUMBERLAND +Good, an God will! + +LORD BARDOLPH As good as heart can wish. +The King is almost wounded to the death, +And, in the fortune of my lord your son, +Prince Harry slain outright; and both the Blunts +Killed by the hand of Douglas; young Prince John +And Westmoreland and Stafford fled the field; +And Harry Monmouth's brawn, the hulk Sir John, +Is prisoner to your son. O, such a day, +So fought, so followed, and so fairly won, +Came not till now to dignify the times +Since Caesar's fortunes. + +NORTHUMBERLAND How is this derived? +Saw you the field? Came you from Shrewsbury? + +LORD BARDOLPH +I spake with one, my lord, that came from thence, +A gentleman well bred and of good name, +That freely rendered me these news for true. + +[Enter Travers.] + + +NORTHUMBERLAND +Here comes my servant Travers, who I sent +On Tuesday last to listen after news. + +LORD BARDOLPH +My lord, I overrode him on the way, +And he is furnished with no certainties +More than he haply may retail from me. + +NORTHUMBERLAND +Now, Travers, what good tidings comes with you? + +TRAVERS +My lord, Sir John Umfrevile turned me back +With joyful tidings and, being better horsed, +Outrode me. After him came spurring hard +A gentleman, almost forspent with speed, +That stopped by me to breathe his bloodied horse. +He asked the way to Chester, and of him +I did demand what news from Shrewsbury. +He told me that rebellion had bad luck +And that young Harry Percy's spur was cold. +With that he gave his able horse the head +And, bending forward, struck his armed heels +Against the panting sides of his poor jade +Up to the rowel-head, and starting so +He seemed in running to devour the way, +Staying no longer question. + +NORTHUMBERLAND Ha? Again: +Said he young Harry Percy's spur was cold? +Of Hotspur, Coldspur? That rebellion +Had met ill luck? + +LORD BARDOLPH My lord, I'll tell you what: +If my young lord your son have not the day, +Upon mine honor, for a silken point +I'll give my barony. Never talk of it. + +NORTHUMBERLAND +Why should that gentleman that rode by Travers +Give then such instances of loss? + +LORD BARDOLPH Who, he? +He was some hilding fellow that had stol'n +The horse he rode on and, upon my life, +Spoke at a venture. + +[Enter Morton.] + +Look, here comes more news. + +NORTHUMBERLAND +Yea, this man's brow, like to a title leaf, +Foretells the nature of a tragic volume. +So looks the strand whereon the imperious flood +Hath left a witnessed usurpation.-- +Say, Morton, didst thou come from Shrewsbury? + +MORTON +I ran from Shrewsbury, my noble lord, +Where hateful death put on his ugliest mask +To fright our party. + +NORTHUMBERLAND How doth my son and brother? +Thou tremblest, and the whiteness in thy cheek +Is apter than thy tongue to tell thy errand. +Even such a man, so faint, so spiritless, +So dull, so dead in look, so woebegone, +Drew Priam's curtain in the dead of night +And would have told him half his Troy was burnt; +But Priam found the fire ere he his tongue, +And I my Percy's death ere thou report'st it. +This thou wouldst say: "Your son did thus and thus; +Your brother thus; so fought the noble Douglas"-- +Stopping my greedy ear with their bold deeds. +But in the end, to stop my ear indeed, +Thou hast a sigh to blow away this praise, +Ending with "Brother, son, and all are dead." + +MORTON +Douglas is living, and your brother yet, +But for my lord your son-- + +NORTHUMBERLAND Why, he is dead. +See what a ready tongue suspicion hath! +He that but fears the thing he would not know +Hath, by instinct, knowledge from others' eyes +That what he feared is chanced. Yet speak, +Morton. +Tell thou an earl his divination lies, +And I will take it as a sweet disgrace +And make thee rich for doing me such wrong. + +MORTON +You are too great to be by me gainsaid, +Your spirit is too true, your fears too certain. + +NORTHUMBERLAND +Yet, for all this, say not that Percy's dead. +I see a strange confession in thine eye. +Thou shak'st thy head and hold'st it fear or sin +To speak a truth. If he be slain, say so. +The tongue offends not that reports his death; +And he doth sin that doth belie the dead, +Not he which says the dead is not alive. +Yet the first bringer of unwelcome news +Hath but a losing office, and his tongue +Sounds ever after as a sullen bell +Remembered tolling a departing friend. + +LORD BARDOLPH +I cannot think, my lord, your son is dead. + +MORTON, [to Northumberland] +I am sorry I should force you to believe +That which I would to God I had not seen, +But these mine eyes saw him in bloody state, +Rend'ring faint quittance, wearied and outbreathed, +To Harry Monmouth, whose swift wrath beat down +The never-daunted Percy to the earth, +From whence with life he never more sprung up. +In few, his death, whose spirit lent a fire +Even to the dullest peasant in his camp, +Being bruited once, took fire and heat away +From the best-tempered courage in his troops; +For from his mettle was his party steeled, +Which, once in him abated, all the rest +Turned on themselves, like dull and heavy lead. +And as the thing that's heavy in itself +Upon enforcement flies with greatest speed, +So did our men, heavy in Hotspur's loss, +Lend to this weight such lightness with their fear +That arrows fled not swifter toward their aim +Than did our soldiers, aiming at their safety, +Fly from the field. Then was that noble Worcester +So soon ta'en prisoner; and that furious Scot, +The bloody Douglas, whose well-laboring sword +Had three times slain th' appearance of the King, +Gan vail his stomach and did grace the shame +Of those that turned their backs and in his flight, +Stumbling in fear, was took. The sum of all +Is that the King hath won and hath sent out +A speedy power to encounter you, my lord, +Under the conduct of young Lancaster +And Westmoreland. This is the news at full. + +NORTHUMBERLAND +For this I shall have time enough to mourn. +In poison there is physic, and these news, +Having been well, that would have made me sick, +Being sick, have in some measure made me well. +And as the wretch whose fever-weakened joints, +Like strengthless hinges, buckle under life, +Impatient of his fit, breaks like a fire +Out of his keeper's arms, even so my limbs, +Weakened with grief, being now enraged with +grief, +Are thrice themselves. Hence therefore, thou +nice crutch. [He throws down his crutch.] +A scaly gauntlet now with joints of steel +Must glove this hand. And hence, thou sickly +coif. [He removes his kerchief.] +Thou art a guard too wanton for the head +Which princes, fleshed with conquest, aim to hit. +Now bind my brows with iron, and approach +The ragged'st hour that time and spite dare bring +To frown upon th' enraged Northumberland. +Let heaven kiss Earth! Now let not Nature's hand +Keep the wild flood confined. Let order die, +And let this world no longer be a stage +To feed contention in a lingering act; +But let one spirit of the firstborn Cain +Reign in all bosoms, that, each heart being set +On bloody courses, the rude scene may end, +And darkness be the burier of the dead. + +LORD BARDOLPH +This strained passion doth you wrong, my lord. + +MORTON +Sweet earl, divorce not wisdom from your honor. +The lives of all your loving complices +Lean on your health, the which, if you give o'er +To stormy passion, must perforce decay. +You cast th' event of war, my noble lord, +And summed the accompt of chance before you +said +"Let us make head." It was your presurmise +That in the dole of blows your son might drop. +You knew he walked o'er perils on an edge, +More likely to fall in than to get o'er. +You were advised his flesh was capable +Of wounds and scars, and that his forward spirit +Would lift him where most trade of danger +ranged. +Yet did you say "Go forth," and none of this, +Though strongly apprehended, could restrain +The stiff-borne action. What hath then befall'n, +Or what did this bold enterprise bring forth, +More than that being which was like to be? + +LORD BARDOLPH +We all that are engaged to this loss +Knew that we ventured on such dangerous seas +That if we wrought out life, 'twas ten to one; +And yet we ventured, for the gain proposed +Choked the respect of likely peril feared; +And since we are o'erset, venture again. +Come, we will all put forth, body and goods. + +MORTON +'Tis more than time.--And, my most noble lord, +I hear for certain, and dare speak the truth: +The gentle Archbishop of York is up +With well-appointed powers. He is a man +Who with a double surety binds his followers. +My lord your son had only but the corpse, +But shadows and the shows of men, to fight; +For that same word "rebellion" did divide +The action of their bodies from their souls, +And they did fight with queasiness, constrained, +As men drink potions, that their weapons only +Seemed on our side. But, for their spirits and +souls, +This word "rebellion," it had froze them up +As fish are in a pond. But now the Bishop +Turns insurrection to religion. +Supposed sincere and holy in his thoughts, +He's followed both with body and with mind, +And doth enlarge his rising with the blood +Of fair King Richard, scraped from Pomfret +stones; +Derives from heaven his quarrel and his cause; +Tells them he doth bestride a bleeding land, +Gasping for life under great Bolingbroke; +And more and less do flock to follow him. + +NORTHUMBERLAND +I knew of this before, but, to speak truth, +This present grief had wiped it from my mind. +Go in with me and counsel every man +The aptest way for safety and revenge. +Get posts and letters, and make friends with speed. +Never so few, and never yet more need. +[They exit.] + +Scene 2 +======= +[Enter Sir John Falstaff, with his Page bearing his sword +and buckler.] + + +FALSTAFF Sirrah, you giant, what says the doctor to my +water? + +PAGE He said, sir, the water itself was a good healthy +water, but, for the party that owed it, he might have +more diseases than he knew for. + +FALSTAFF Men of all sorts take a pride to gird at me. +The brain of this foolish-compounded clay, man, is +not able to invent anything that intends to laughter +more than I invent, or is invented on me. I am not +only witty in myself, but the cause that wit is in +other men. I do here walk before thee like a sow +that hath overwhelmed all her litter but one. If the +Prince put thee into my service for any other reason +than to set me off, why then I have no judgment. +Thou whoreson mandrake, thou art fitter to be +worn in my cap than to wait at my heels. I was never +manned with an agate till now, but I will inset you +neither in gold nor silver, but in vile apparel, and +send you back again to your master for a jewel. The +juvenal, the Prince your master, whose chin is not +yet fledge--I will sooner have a beard grow in the +palm of my hand than he shall get one off his cheek, +and yet he will not stick to say his face is a face +royal. God may finish it when He will. 'Tis not a hair +amiss yet. He may keep it still at a face royal, for a +barber shall never earn sixpence out of it, and yet +he'll be crowing as if he had writ man ever since his +father was a bachelor. He may keep his own grace, +but he's almost out of mine, I can assure him. What +said Master Dommelton about the satin for my +short cloak and my slops? + +PAGE He said, sir, you should procure him better +assurance than Bardolph. He would not take his +band and yours. He liked not the security. + +FALSTAFF Let him be damned like the glutton! Pray +God his tongue be hotter! A whoreson Achitophel, a +rascally yea-forsooth knave, to bear a gentleman in +hand and then stand upon security! The whoreson +smoothy-pates do now wear nothing but high shoes +and bunches of keys at their girdles; and if a man is +through with them in honest taking up, then they +must stand upon security. I had as lief they would +put ratsbane in my mouth as offer to stop it with +"security." I looked he should have sent me two-and-twenty +yards of satin, as I am a true knight, and +he sends me "security." Well, he may sleep in +security, for he hath the horn of abundance, and the +lightness of his wife shines through it, and yet +cannot he see though he have his own lantern to +light him. Where's Bardolph? + +PAGE He's gone in Smithfield to buy your Worship a +horse. + +FALSTAFF I bought him in Paul's, and he'll buy me a +horse in Smithfield. An I could get me but a wife in +the stews, I were manned, horsed, and wived. + +[Enter Lord Chief Justice and Servant.] + + +PAGE, [to Falstaff] Sir, here comes the nobleman that +committed the Prince for striking him about +Bardolph. + +FALSTAFF Wait close. I will not see him. +[They begin to exit.] + +CHIEF JUSTICE, [to Servant] What's he that goes there? + +SERVANT Falstaff, an 't please your Lordship. + +CHIEF JUSTICE He that was in question for the robbery? + +SERVANT He, my lord; but he hath since done good +service at Shrewsbury, and, as I hear, is now going +with some charge to the Lord John of Lancaster. + +CHIEF JUSTICE What, to York? Call him back again. + +SERVANT Sir John Falstaff! + +FALSTAFF Boy, tell him I am deaf. + +PAGE You must speak louder. My master is deaf. + +CHIEF JUSTICE I am sure he is, to the hearing of +anything good.--Go pluck him by the elbow. I must +speak with him. + +SERVANT, [plucking Falstaff's sleeve] Sir John! + +FALSTAFF What, a young knave and begging? Is there +not wars? Is there not employment? Doth not the +King lack subjects? Do not the rebels need soldiers? +Though it be a shame to be on any side but one, it is +worse shame to beg than to be on the worst side, +were it worse than the name of rebellion can tell +how to make it. + +SERVANT You mistake me, sir. + +FALSTAFF Why sir, did I say you were an honest man? +Setting my knighthood and my soldiership aside, I +had lied in my throat if I had said so. + +SERVANT I pray you, sir, then set your knighthood and +your soldiership aside, and give me leave to tell you, +you lie in your throat if you say I am any other than +an honest man. + +FALSTAFF I give thee leave to tell me so? I lay aside that +which grows to me? If thou gett'st any leave of me, +hang me; if thou tak'st leave, thou wert better be +hanged. You hunt counter. Hence! Avaunt! + +SERVANT Sir, my lord would speak with you. + +CHIEF JUSTICE Sir John Falstaff, a word with you. + +FALSTAFF My good lord. God give your Lordship good +time of the day. I am glad to see your Lordship +abroad. I heard say your Lordship was sick. I hope +your Lordship goes abroad by advice. Your Lordship, +though not clean past your youth, have yet +some smack of an ague in you, some relish of the +saltness of time in you, and I most humbly beseech +your Lordship to have a reverend care of your +health. + +CHIEF JUSTICE Sir John, I sent for you before your +expedition to Shrewsbury. + +FALSTAFF An 't please your Lordship, I hear his Majesty +is returned with some discomfort from Wales. + +CHIEF JUSTICE I talk not of his Majesty. You would not +come when I sent for you. + +FALSTAFF And I hear, moreover, his Highness is fallen +into this same whoreson apoplexy. + +CHIEF JUSTICE Well, God mend him. I pray you let me +speak with you. + +FALSTAFF This apoplexy, as I take it, is a kind of +lethargy, an 't please your Lordship, a kind of +sleeping in the blood, a whoreson tingling. + +CHIEF JUSTICE What tell you me of it? Be it as it is. + +FALSTAFF It hath it original from much grief, from +study, and perturbation of the brain. I have read the +cause of his effects in Galen. It is a kind of deafness. + +CHIEF JUSTICE I think you are fallen into the disease, +for you hear not what I say to you. + +FALSTAFF Very well, my lord, very well. Rather, an 't +please you, it is the disease of not listening, the +malady of not marking, that I am troubled withal. + +CHIEF JUSTICE To punish you by the heels would amend +the attention of your ears, and I care not if I do +become your physician. + +FALSTAFF I am as poor as Job, my lord, but not so +patient. Your Lordship may minister the potion of +imprisonment to me in respect of poverty, but how +I should be your patient to follow your prescriptions, +the wise may make some dram of a scruple, +or indeed a scruple itself. + +CHIEF JUSTICE I sent for you, when there were matters +against you for your life, to come speak with me. + +FALSTAFF As I was then advised by my learned counsel +in the laws of this land-service, I did not come. + +CHIEF JUSTICE Well, the truth is, Sir John, you live in +great infamy. + +FALSTAFF He that buckles himself in my belt cannot +live in less. + +CHIEF JUSTICE Your means are very slender, and your +waste is great. + +FALSTAFF I would it were otherwise. I would my means +were greater and my waist slender. + +CHIEF JUSTICE You have misled the youthful prince. + +FALSTAFF The young prince hath misled me. I am the +fellow with the great belly, and he my dog. + +CHIEF JUSTICE Well, I am loath to gall a new-healed +wound. Your day's service at Shrewsbury hath a +little gilded over your night's exploit on Gad's Hill. +You may thank th' unquiet time for your quiet +o'erposting that action. + +FALSTAFF My lord. + +CHIEF JUSTICE But since all is well, keep it so. Wake not +a sleeping wolf. + +FALSTAFF To wake a wolf is as bad as to smell a fox. + +CHIEF JUSTICE What, you are as a candle, the better +part burnt out. + +FALSTAFF A wassail candle, my lord, all tallow. If I did +say of wax, my growth would approve the truth. + +CHIEF JUSTICE There is not a white hair in your face but +should have his effect of gravity. + +FALSTAFF His effect of gravy, gravy, gravy. + +CHIEF JUSTICE You follow the young prince up and +down like his ill angel. + +FALSTAFF Not so, my lord. Your ill angel is light, but I +hope he that looks upon me will take me without +weighing. And yet in some respects I grant I cannot +go. I cannot tell. Virtue is of so little regard in these +costermongers' times that true valor is turned bearherd; +pregnancy is made a tapster, and hath his +quick wit wasted in giving reckonings. All the other +gifts appurtenant to man, as the malice of this age +shapes them, are not worth a gooseberry. You that +are old consider not the capacities of us that are +young. You do measure the heat of our livers with +the bitterness of your galls, and we that are in the +vaward of our youth, I must confess, are wags too. + +CHIEF JUSTICE Do you set down your name in the scroll +of youth, that are written down old with all the +characters of age? Have you not a moist eye, a dry +hand, a yellow cheek, a white beard, a decreasing +leg, an increasing belly? Is not your voice broken, +your wind short, your chin double, your wit single, +and every part about you blasted with antiquity? +And will you yet call yourself young? Fie, fie, fie, Sir +John. + +FALSTAFF My lord, I was born about three of the clock +in the afternoon, with a white head and something +a round belly. For my voice, I have lost it with +halloing and singing of anthems. To approve my +youth further, I will not. The truth is, I am only old +in judgment and understanding. And he that will +caper with me for a thousand marks, let him lend +me the money, and have at him. For the box of the +ear that the Prince gave you, he gave it like a rude +prince, and you took it like a sensible lord. I have +checked him for it, and the young lion repents. +[Aside.] Marry, not in ashes and sackcloth, but in +new silk and old sack. + +CHIEF JUSTICE Well, God send the Prince a better +companion. + +FALSTAFF God send the companion a better prince. I +cannot rid my hands of him. + +CHIEF JUSTICE Well, the King hath severed you and +Prince Harry. I hear you are going with Lord John +of Lancaster against the Archbishop and the Earl of +Northumberland. + +FALSTAFF Yea, I thank your pretty sweet wit for it. But +look you pray, all you that kiss my Lady Peace at +home, that our armies join not in a hot day, for, by +the Lord, I take but two shirts out with me, and I +mean not to sweat extraordinarily. If it be a hot day +and I brandish anything but a bottle, I would I +might never spit white again. There is not a dangerous +action can peep out his head but I am thrust +upon it. Well, I cannot last ever. But it was always +yet the trick of our English nation, if they have a +good thing, to make it too common. If you will +needs say I am an old man, you should give me rest. +I would to God my name were not so terrible to the +enemy as it is. I were better to be eaten to death +with a rust than to be scoured to nothing with +perpetual motion. + +CHIEF JUSTICE Well, be honest, be honest, and God +bless your expedition. + +FALSTAFF Will your Lordship lend me a thousand +pound to furnish me forth? + +CHIEF JUSTICE Not a penny, not a penny. You are too +impatient to bear crosses. Fare you well. Commend +me to my cousin Westmoreland. +[Lord Chief Justice and his Servant exit.] + +FALSTAFF If I do, fillip me with a three-man beetle. A +man can no more separate age and covetousness +than he can part young limbs and lechery; but the +gout galls the one, and the pox pinches the other, +and so both the degrees prevent my curses.--Boy! + +PAGE Sir. + +FALSTAFF What money is in my purse? + +PAGE Seven groats and two pence. + +FALSTAFF I can get no remedy against this consumption +of the purse. Borrowing only lingers and lingers +it out, but the disease is incurable. [Giving +papers to the Page.] Go bear this letter to my Lord +of Lancaster, this to the Prince, this to the Earl +of Westmoreland, and this to old Mistress Ursula, +whom I have weekly sworn to marry since I perceived +the first white hair of my chin. About it. You +know where to find me. [Page exits.] A pox of this +gout! Or a gout of this pox, for the one or the other +plays the rogue with my great toe. 'Tis no matter if I +do halt. I have the wars for my color, and my +pension shall seem the more reasonable. A good wit +will make use of anything. I will turn diseases to +commodity. +[He exits.] + +Scene 3 +======= +[Enter th' Archbishop of York, Thomas Mowbray (Earl +Marshal), the Lord Hastings, and Lord Bardolph.] + + +ARCHBISHOP +Thus have you heard our cause and known our +means, +And, my most noble friends, I pray you all +Speak plainly your opinions of our hopes. +And first, Lord Marshal, what say you to it? + +MOWBRAY +I well allow the occasion of our arms, +But gladly would be better satisfied +How in our means we should advance ourselves +To look with forehead bold and big enough +Upon the power and puissance of the King. + +HASTINGS +Our present musters grow upon the file +To five-and-twenty thousand men of choice, +And our supplies live largely in the hope +Of great Northumberland, whose bosom burns +With an incensed fire of injuries. + +LORD BARDOLPH +The question, then, Lord Hastings, standeth thus: +Whether our present five-and-twenty thousand +May hold up head without Northumberland. + +HASTINGS +With him we may. + +LORD BARDOLPH Yea, marry, there's the point. +But if without him we be thought too feeble, +My judgment is we should not step too far +Till we had his assistance by the hand. +For in a theme so bloody-faced as this, +Conjecture, expectation, and surmise +Of aids incertain should not be admitted. + +ARCHBISHOP +'Tis very true, Lord Bardolph, for indeed +It was young Hotspur's cause at Shrewsbury. + +LORD BARDOLPH +It was, my lord; who lined himself with hope, +Eating the air and promise of supply, +Flatt'ring himself in project of a power +Much smaller than the smallest of his thoughts, +And so, with great imagination +Proper to madmen, led his powers to death +And, winking, leapt into destruction. + +HASTINGS +But, by your leave, it never yet did hurt +To lay down likelihoods and forms of hope. + +LORD BARDOLPH +Yes, if this present quality of war -- +Indeed the instant action, a cause on foot-- +Lives so in hope, as in an early spring +We see th' appearing buds, which to prove fruit +Hope gives not so much warrant as despair +That frosts will bite them. When we mean to build, +We first survey the plot, then draw the model, +And when we see the figure of the house, +Then must we rate the cost of the erection, +Which if we find outweighs ability, +What do we then but draw anew the model +In fewer offices, or at least desist +To build at all? Much more in this great work, +Which is almost to pluck a kingdom down +And set another up, should we survey +The plot of situation and the model, +Consent upon a sure foundation, +Question surveyors, know our own estate, +How able such a work to undergo, +To weigh against his opposite. Or else +We fortify in paper and in figures, +Using the names of men instead of men, +Like one that draws the model of an house +Beyond his power to build it, who, half through, +Gives o'er and leaves his part-created cost +A naked subject to the weeping clouds +And waste for churlish winter's tyranny. + +HASTINGS +Grant that our hopes, yet likely of fair birth, +Should be stillborn and that we now possessed +The utmost man of expectation, +I think we are a body strong enough, +Even as we are, to equal with the King. + +LORD BARDOLPH +What, is the King but five-and-twenty thousand? + +HASTINGS +To us no more, nay, not so much, Lord Bardolph, +For his divisions, as the times do brawl, +Are in three heads: one power against the French, +And one against Glendower; perforce a third +Must take up us. So is the unfirm king +In three divided, and his coffers sound +With hollow poverty and emptiness. + +ARCHBISHOP +That he should draw his several strengths together +And come against us in full puissance +Need not to be dreaded. + +HASTINGS If he should do so, +He leaves his back unarmed, the French and Welsh +Baying him at the heels. Never fear that. + +LORD BARDOLPH +Who is it like should lead his forces hither? + +HASTINGS +The Duke of Lancaster and Westmoreland; +Against the Welsh, himself and Harry Monmouth; +But who is substituted against the French +I have no certain notice. + +ARCHBISHOP Let us on, +And publish the occasion of our arms. +The commonwealth is sick of their own choice. +Their over-greedy love hath surfeited. +An habitation giddy and unsure +Hath he that buildeth on the vulgar heart. +O thou fond many, with what loud applause +Didst thou beat heaven with blessing Bolingbroke +Before he was what thou wouldst have him be. +And being now trimmed in thine own desires, +Thou, beastly feeder, art so full of him +That thou provok'st thyself to cast him up. +So, so, thou common dog, didst thou disgorge +Thy glutton bosom of the royal Richard, +And now thou wouldst eat thy dead vomit up +And howl'st to find it. What trust is in these +times? +They that, when Richard lived, would have him die +Are now become enamored on his grave. +Thou, that threw'st dust upon his goodly head +When through proud London he came sighing on +After th' admired heels of Bolingbroke, +Criest now "O earth, yield us that king again, +And take thou this!" O thoughts of men accursed! +Past and to come seems best; things present, +worst. + +MOWBRAY +Shall we go draw our numbers and set on? + +HASTINGS +We are time's subjects, and time bids begone. +[They exit.] + + +ACT 2 +===== + +Scene 1 +======= +[Enter Hostess Quickly of the tavern with two Officers, +Fang and Snare, who lags behind.] + + +HOSTESS Master Fang, have you entered the action? + +FANG It is entered. + +HOSTESS Where's your yeoman? Is 't a lusty yeoman? +Will he stand to 't? + +FANG, [calling] Sirrah! Where's Snare? + +HOSTESS O Lord, ay, good Master Snare. + +SNARE, [catching up to them] Here, here. + +FANG Snare, we must arrest Sir John Falstaff. + +HOSTESS Yea, good Master Snare, I have entered him +and all. + +SNARE It may chance cost some of us our lives, for he +will stab. + +HOSTESS Alas the day, take heed of him. He stabbed me +in mine own house, and that most beastly, in good +faith. He cares not what mischief he does. If his +weapon be out, he will foin like any devil. He will +spare neither man, woman, nor child. + +FANG If I can close with him, I care not for his thrust. + +HOSTESS No, nor I neither. I'll be at your elbow. + +FANG An I but fist him once, an he come but within my +view-- + +HOSTESS I am undone by his going. I warrant you, he's +an infinitive thing upon my score. Good Master +Fang, hold him sure. Good Master Snare, let him +not 'scape. He comes continuantly to Pie Corner, +saving your manhoods, to buy a saddle, and he is +indited to dinner to the Lubber's Head in Lumbert +Street, to Master Smooth's the silkman. I pray you, +since my exion is entered, and my case so openly +known to the world, let him be brought in to his +answer. A hundred mark is a long one for a poor +lone woman to bear, and I have borne, and borne, +and borne, and have been fubbed off, and fubbed +off, and fubbed off from this day to that day, that it is +a shame to be thought on. There is no honesty in +such dealing, unless a woman should be made an +ass and a beast to bear every knave's wrong. Yonder +he comes, and that arrant malmsey-nose knave, +Bardolph, with him. Do your offices, do your offices, +Master Fang and Master Snare, do me, do me, +do me your offices. + +[Enter Sir John Falstaff and Bardolph, and the Page.] + + +FALSTAFF How now, whose mare's dead? What's the +matter? + +FANG Sir John, I arrest you at the suit of Mistress +Quickly. + +FALSTAFF Away, varlets!--Draw, Bardolph. Cut me off +the villain's head. Throw the quean in the +channel. [They draw.] + +HOSTESS Throw me in the channel? I'll throw thee in +the channel. Wilt thou, wilt thou, thou bastardly +rogue?--Murder, murder!--Ah, thou honeysuckle +villain, wilt thou kill God's officers and the King's? +Ah, thou honeyseed rogue, thou art a honeyseed, a +man-queller, and a woman-queller. + +FALSTAFF Keep them off, Bardolph. + +OFFICERS A rescue, a rescue! + +HOSTESS Good people, bring a rescue or two.--Thou +wot, wot thou? Thou wot, wot ta? Do, do, thou +rogue. Do, thou hempseed. + +PAGE Away, you scullion, you rampallian, you fustilarian! +I'll tickle your catastrophe. + +[Enter Lord Chief Justice and his Men.] + + +CHIEF JUSTICE +What is the matter? Keep the peace here, ho! + +HOSTESS Good my lord, be good to me. I beseech you +stand to me. + +CHIEF JUSTICE +How now, Sir John? What, are you brawling here? +Doth this become your place, your time, and +business? +You should have been well on your way to York.-- +Stand from him, fellow. Wherefore hang'st thou +upon him? + +HOSTESS O my most worshipful lord, an 't please your +Grace, I am a poor widow of Eastcheap, and he is +arrested at my suit. + +CHIEF JUSTICE For what sum? + +HOSTESS It is more than for some, my lord; it is for all I +have. He hath eaten me out of house and home. He +hath put all my substance into that fat belly of his. +[To Falstaff.] But I will have some of it out again, or I +will ride thee o' nights like the mare. + +FALSTAFF I think I am as like to ride the mare if I have +any vantage of ground to get up. + +CHIEF JUSTICE How comes this, Sir John? Fie, what +man of good temper would endure this tempest of +exclamation? Are you not ashamed to enforce a +poor widow to so rough a course to come by her +own? + +FALSTAFF What is the gross sum that I owe thee? + +HOSTESS Marry, if thou wert an honest man, thyself +and the money too. Thou didst swear to me upon a +parcel-gilt goblet, sitting in my Dolphin chamber at +the round table by a sea-coal fire, upon Wednesday +in Wheeson week, when the Prince broke thy head +for liking his father to a singing-man of Windsor, +thou didst swear to me then, as I was washing thy +wound, to marry me and make me my lady thy wife. +Canst thou deny it? Did not Goodwife Keech, the +butcher's wife, come in then and call me Gossip +Quickly, coming in to borrow a mess of vinegar, +telling us she had a good dish of prawns, whereby +thou didst desire to eat some, whereby I told thee +they were ill for a green wound? And didst thou not, +when she was gone downstairs, desire me to be no +more so familiarity with such poor people, saying +that ere long they should call me madam? And didst +thou not kiss me and bid me fetch thee thirty +shillings? I put thee now to thy book-oath. Deny it if +thou canst. + +FALSTAFF My lord, this is a poor mad soul, and she says +up and down the town that her eldest son is like +you. She hath been in good case, and the truth is, +poverty hath distracted her. But, for these foolish +officers, I beseech you I may have redress against +them. + +CHIEF JUSTICE Sir John, Sir John, I am well acquainted +with your manner of wrenching the true cause the +false way. It is not a confident brow, nor the throng +of words that come with such more than impudent +sauciness from you, can thrust me from a level +consideration. You have, as it appears to me, practiced +upon the easy-yielding spirit of this woman, +and made her serve your uses both in purse and in +person. + +HOSTESS Yea, in truth, my lord. + +CHIEF JUSTICE Pray thee, peace.--Pay her the debt you +owe her, and unpay the villainy you have done with +her. The one you may do with sterling money, and +the other with current repentance. + +FALSTAFF My lord, I will not undergo this sneap without +reply. You call honorable boldness "impudent +sauciness." If a man will make curtsy and say +nothing, he is virtuous. No, my lord, my humble +duty remembered, I will not be your suitor. I say to +you, I do desire deliverance from these officers, +being upon hasty employment in the King's affairs. + +CHIEF JUSTICE You speak as having power to do wrong; +but answer in th' effect of your reputation, and +satisfy the poor woman. + +FALSTAFF Come hither, hostess. +[He speaks aside to the Hostess.] + +[Enter a Messenger, Master Gower.] + + +CHIEF JUSTICE Now, Master Gower, what news? + +GOWER +The King, my lord, and Harry Prince of Wales +Are near at hand. The rest the paper tells. +[He gives the Chief Justice a paper to read.] + +FALSTAFF, [to the Hostess] As I am a gentleman! + +HOSTESS Faith, you said so before. + +FALSTAFF As I am a gentleman. Come. No more words +of it. + +HOSTESS By this heavenly ground I tread on, I must be +fain to pawn both my plate and the tapestry of my +dining chambers. + +FALSTAFF Glasses, glasses, is the only drinking. And for +thy walls, a pretty slight drollery, or the story of the +Prodigal or the German hunting in waterwork is +worth a thousand of these bed-hangers and these +fly-bitten tapestries. Let it be ten pound, if thou +canst. Come, an 'twere not for thy humors, there's +not a better wench in England. Go wash thy face, +and draw the action. Come, thou must not be in this +humor with me. Dost not know me? Come, come. I +know thou wast set on to this. + +HOSTESS Pray thee, Sir John, let it be but twenty +nobles. I' faith, I am loath to pawn my plate, so God +save me, la. + +FALSTAFF Let it alone. I'll make other shift. You'll be a +fool still. + +HOSTESS Well, you shall have it, though I pawn my +gown. I hope you'll come to supper. You'll pay +me all together? + +FALSTAFF Will I live? [Aside to Bardolph.] Go with her, +with her. Hook on, hook on. + +HOSTESS Will you have Doll Tearsheet meet you at +supper? + +FALSTAFF No more words. Let's have her. +[Hostess, Fang, Snare, Bardolph, Page, +and others exit.] + +CHIEF JUSTICE, [to Gower] I have heard better news. + +FALSTAFF, [to Chief Justice] What's the news, my good +lord? + +CHIEF JUSTICE, [to Gower] Where lay the King +tonight? + +GOWER At Basingstoke, my lord. + +FALSTAFF, [to Chief Justice] I hope, my lord, all's +well. What is the news, my lord? + +CHIEF JUSTICE, [to Gower] Come all his forces back? + +GOWER +No. Fifteen hundred foot, five hundred horse +Are marched up to my Lord of Lancaster +Against Northumberland and the Archbishop. + +FALSTAFF, [to Chief Justice] +Comes the King back from Wales, my noble lord? + +CHIEF JUSTICE, [to Gower] +You shall have letters of me presently. +Come. Go along with me, good Master Gower. + +FALSTAFF My lord! + +CHIEF JUSTICE What's the matter? + +FALSTAFF Master Gower, shall I entreat you with me to +dinner? + +GOWER I must wait upon my good lord here. I thank +you, good Sir John. + +CHIEF JUSTICE Sir John, you loiter here too long, being +you are to take soldiers up in counties as you go. + +FALSTAFF Will you sup with me, Master Gower? + +CHIEF JUSTICE What foolish master taught you these +manners, Sir John? + +FALSTAFF Master Gower, if they become me not, he was +a fool that taught them me.--This is the right +fencing grace, my lord: tap for tap, and so part fair. + +CHIEF JUSTICE Now the Lord lighten thee. Thou art a +great fool. +[They separate and exit.] + +Scene 2 +======= +[Enter the Prince and Poins.] + + +PRINCE Before God, I am exceeding weary. + +POINS Is 't come to that? I had thought weariness durst +not have attached one of so high blood. + +PRINCE Faith, it does me, though it discolors the complexion +of my greatness to acknowledge it. Doth it +not show vilely in me to desire small beer? + +POINS Why, a prince should not be so loosely studied +as to remember so weak a composition. + +PRINCE Belike then my appetite was not princely got, +for, by my troth, I do now remember the poor +creature small beer. But indeed these humble considerations +make me out of love with my greatness. +What a disgrace is it to me to remember thy name, +or to know thy face tomorrow, or to take note how +many pair of silk stockings thou hast--with these, +and those that were thy peach-colored ones--or to +bear the inventory of thy shirts, as, one for superfluity +and another for use. But that the tennis-court +keeper knows better than I, for it is a low ebb of +linen with thee when thou keepest not racket there, +as thou hast not done a great while, because the rest +of the low countries have made a shift to eat up thy +holland; and God knows whether those that bawl +out the ruins of thy linen shall inherit His kingdom; +but the midwives say the children are not in the +fault, whereupon the world increases and kindreds +are mightily strengthened. + +POINS How ill it follows, after you have labored so +hard, you should talk so idly! Tell me, how many +good young princes would do so, their fathers being +so sick as yours at this time is? + +PRINCE Shall I tell thee one thing, Poins? + +POINS Yes, faith, and let it be an excellent good thing. + +PRINCE It shall serve among wits of no higher breeding +than thine. + +POINS Go to. I stand the push of your one thing that +you will tell. + +PRINCE Marry, I tell thee it is not meet that I should be +sad, now my father is sick--albeit I could tell to +thee, as to one it pleases me, for fault of a better, to +call my friend, I could be sad, and sad indeed too. + +POINS Very hardly, upon such a subject. + +PRINCE By this hand, thou thinkest me as far in the +devil's book as thou and Falstaff for obduracy and +persistency. Let the end try the man. But I tell thee, +my heart bleeds inwardly that my father is so sick; +and keeping such vile company as thou art hath in +reason taken from me all ostentation of sorrow. + +POINS The reason? + +PRINCE What wouldst thou think of me if I should +weep? + +POINS I would think thee a most princely hypocrite. + +PRINCE It would be every man's thought, and thou art +a blessed fellow to think as every man thinks. Never +a man's thought in the world keeps the roadway +better than thine. Every man would think me an +hypocrite indeed. And what accites your most worshipful +thought to think so? + +POINS Why, because you have been so lewd and so +much engraffed to Falstaff. + +PRINCE And to thee. + +POINS By this light, I am well spoke on. I can hear it +with mine own ears. The worst that they can say of +me is that I am a second brother, and that I am a +proper fellow of my hands; and those two things, I +confess, I cannot help. By the Mass, here comes +Bardolph. + +[Enter Bardolph and Page.] + + +PRINCE And the boy that I gave Falstaff. He had him +from me Christian, and look if the fat villain have +not transformed him ape. + +BARDOLPH God save your Grace. + +PRINCE And yours, most noble Bardolph. + +POINS, [to Bardolph] Come, you virtuous ass, you bashful +fool, must you be blushing? Wherefore blush +you now? What a maidenly man-at-arms are you +become! Is 't such a matter to get a pottle-pot's +maidenhead? + +PAGE He calls me e'en now, my lord, through a red +lattice, and I could discern no part of his face from +the window. At last I spied his eyes, and methought +he had made two holes in the ale-wife's new +petticoat and so peeped through. + +PRINCE Has not the boy profited? + +BARDOLPH, [to Page] Away, you whoreson upright rabbit, +away! + +PAGE Away, you rascally Althea's dream, away! + +PRINCE Instruct us, boy. What dream, boy? + +PAGE Marry, my lord, Althea dreamt she was delivered +of a firebrand, and therefore I call him her dream. + +PRINCE A crown's worth of good interpretation. There +'tis, boy. [He gives the Page money.] + +POINS O, that this good blossom could be kept from +cankers! Well, there is sixpence to preserve thee. +[He gives the Page money.] + +BARDOLPH An you do not make him be hanged among +you, the gallows shall have wrong. + +PRINCE And how doth thy master, Bardolph? + +BARDOLPH Well, my good lord. He heard of your +Grace's coming to town. There's a letter for you. +[He gives the Prince a paper.] + +POINS Delivered with good respect. And how doth the +Martlemas your master? + +BARDOLPH In bodily health, sir. + +POINS Marry, the immortal part needs a physician, but +that moves not him. Though that be sick, it dies not. + +PRINCE I do allow this wen to be as familiar with me as +my dog, and he holds his place, for look you how he +writes. [He shows the letter to Poins.] + +POINS [reads the superscription] John Falstaff, knight. +Every man must know that as oft as he has occasion +to name himself, even like those that are kin to the +King, for they never prick their finger but they say +"There's some of the King's blood spilt." "How +comes that?" says he that takes upon him not to +conceive. The answer is as ready as a borrower's +cap: "I am the King's poor cousin, sir." + +PRINCE Nay, they will be kin to us, or they will fetch it +from Japheth. But to the letter: [Reads.] Sir John +Falstaff, knight, to the son of the King nearest his +father, Harry Prince of Wales, greeting. + +POINS Why, this is a certificate. + +PRINCE Peace! +[Reads.] I will imitate the honorable Romans in +brevity. + +POINS He sure means brevity in breath, short-winded. + +PRINCE [reads] I commend me to thee, I commend thee, +and I leave thee. Be not too familiar with Poins, for he +misuses thy favors so much that he swears thou art to +marry his sister Nell. Repent at idle times as thou +mayst, and so farewell. + Thine by yea and no, which is as much as +to say, as thou usest him, +Jack Falstaff with my familiars, +John with my brothers and sisters, and +Sir John with all Europe. + +POINS My lord, I'll steep this letter in sack and make +him eat it. + +PRINCE That's to make him eat twenty of his words. +But do you use me thus, Ned? Must I marry your +sister? + +POINS God send the wench no worse fortune! But I +never said so. + +PRINCE Well, thus we play the fools with the time, and +the spirits of the wise sit in the clouds and mock us. +[To Bardolph.] Is your master here in London? + +BARDOLPH Yea, my lord. + +PRINCE Where sups he? Doth the old boar feed in the +old frank? + +BARDOLPH At the old place, my lord, in Eastcheap. + +PRINCE What company? + +PAGE Ephesians, my lord, of the old church. + +PRINCE Sup any women with him? + +PAGE None, my lord, but old Mistress Quickly and +Mistress Doll Tearsheet. + +PRINCE What pagan may that be? + +PAGE A proper gentlewoman, sir, and a kinswoman of +my master's. + +PRINCE Even such kin as the parish heifers are to the +town bull.--Shall we steal upon them, Ned, at +supper? + +POINS I am your shadow, my lord. I'll follow you. + +PRINCE Sirrah--you, boy--and Bardolph, no word to +your master that I am yet come to town. There's for +your silence. [He gives money.] + +BARDOLPH I have no tongue, sir. + +PAGE And for mine, sir, I will govern it. + +PRINCE Fare you well. Go. [Bardolph and Page exit.] +This Doll Tearsheet should be some road. + +POINS I warrant you, as common as the way between +Saint Albans and London. + +PRINCE How might we see Falstaff bestow himself +tonight in his true colors, and not ourselves be +seen? + +POINS Put on two leathern jerkins and aprons, and +wait upon him at his table as drawers. + +PRINCE From a god to a bull: a heavy descension. It +was Jove's case. From a prince to a 'prentice: a low +transformation that shall be mine, for in everything +the purpose must weigh with the folly. Follow me, +Ned. +[They exit.] + +Scene 3 +======= +[Enter Northumberland, his wife, and the wife to +Harry Percy.] + + +NORTHUMBERLAND +I pray thee, loving wife and gentle daughter, +Give even way unto my rough affairs. +Put not you on the visage of the times +And be, like them, to Percy troublesome. + +LADY NORTHUMBERLAND +I have given over. I will speak no more. +Do what you will; your wisdom be your guide. + +NORTHUMBERLAND +Alas, sweet wife, my honor is at pawn, +And, but my going, nothing can redeem it. + +LADY PERCY +O yet, for God's sake, go not to these wars. +The time was, father, that you broke your word +When you were more endeared to it than now, +When your own Percy, when my heart's dear Harry, +Threw many a northward look to see his father +Bring up his powers; but he did long in vain. +Who then persuaded you to stay at home? +There were two honors lost, yours and your son's. +For yours, the God of heaven brighten it. +For his, it stuck upon him as the sun +In the gray vault of heaven, and by his light +Did all the chivalry of England move +To do brave acts. He was indeed the glass +Wherein the noble youth did dress themselves. +He had no legs that practiced not his gait; +And speaking thick, which nature made his blemish, +Became the accents of the valiant; +For those that could speak low and tardily +Would turn their own perfection to abuse +To seem like him. So that in speech, in gait, +In diet, in affections of delight, +In military rules, humors of blood, +He was the mark and glass, copy and book, +That fashioned others. And him--O wondrous him! +O miracle of men!--him did you leave, +Second to none, unseconded by you, +To look upon the hideous god of war +In disadvantage, to abide a field +Where nothing but the sound of Hotspur's name +Did seem defensible. So you left him. +Never, O never, do his ghost the wrong +To hold your honor more precise and nice +With others than with him. Let them alone. +The Marshal and the Archbishop are strong. +Had my sweet Harry had but half their numbers, +Today might I, hanging on Hotspur's neck, +Have talked of Monmouth's grave. + +NORTHUMBERLAND Beshrew your +heart, +Fair daughter, you do draw my spirits from me +With new lamenting ancient oversights. +But I must go and meet with danger there, +Or it will seek me in another place +And find me worse provided. + +LADY NORTHUMBERLAND O, fly to Scotland +Till that the nobles and the armed commons +Have of their puissance made a little taste. + +LADY PERCY +If they get ground and vantage of the King, +Then join you with them like a rib of steel +To make strength stronger; but, for all our loves, +First let them try themselves. So did your son; +He was so suffered. So came I a widow, +And never shall have length of life enough +To rain upon remembrance with mine eyes +That it may grow and sprout as high as heaven +For recordation to my noble husband. + +NORTHUMBERLAND +Come, come, go in with me. 'Tis with my mind +As with the tide swelled up unto his height, +That makes a still-stand, running neither way. +Fain would I go to meet the Archbishop, +But many thousand reasons hold me back. +I will resolve for Scotland. There am I +Till time and vantage crave my company. +[They exit.] + +Scene 4 +======= +[Enter Francis and another Drawer.] + + +FRANCIS What the devil hast thou brought there-- +applejohns? Thou knowest Sir John cannot endure +an applejohn. + +SECOND DRAWER Mass, thou sayst true. The Prince +once set a dish of applejohns before him and told +him there were five more Sir Johns and, putting off +his hat, said "I will now take my leave of these six +dry, round, old, withered knights." It angered him +to the heart. But he hath forgot that. + +FRANCIS Why then, cover and set them down, and see if +thou canst find out Sneak's noise. Mistress Tearsheet +would fain hear some music. Dispatch. The +room where they supped is too hot. They'll come in +straight. + +[Enter Will.] + + +WILL Sirrah, here will be the Prince and Master +Poins anon, and they will put on two of our jerkins +and aprons, and Sir John must not know of it. +Bardolph hath brought word. + +SECOND DRAWER By the Mass, here will be old utis. It +will be an excellent stratagem. + +FRANCIS I'll see if I can find out Sneak. +[He exits with the Second Drawer.] + +[Enter Hostess and Doll Tearsheet.] + + +HOSTESS I' faith, sweetheart, methinks now you are in +an excellent good temperality. Your pulsidge beats +as extraordinarily as heart would desire, and your +color, I warrant you, is as red as any rose, in good +truth, la. But, i' faith, you have drunk too much +canaries, and that's a marvellous searching wine, +and it perfumes the blood ere one can say "What's +this?" How do you now? + +DOLL Better than I was. Hem. + +HOSTESS Why, that's well said. A good heart's worth +gold. Lo, here comes Sir John. + +[Enter Sir John Falstaff.] + + +FALSTAFF, [singing] +When Arthur first in court-- +[To Will.] Empty the jordan. [Will exits.] +And was a worthy king-- +How now, Mistress Doll? + +HOSTESS Sick of a calm, yea, good faith. + +FALSTAFF So is all her sect. An they be once in a calm, +they are sick. + +DOLL A pox damn you, you muddy rascal. Is that all the +comfort you give me? + +FALSTAFF You make fat rascals, Mistress Doll. + +DOLL I make them? Gluttony and diseases make them; +I make them not. + +FALSTAFF If the cook help to make the gluttony, you +help to make the diseases, Doll. We catch of you, +Doll, we catch of you. Grant that, my poor virtue, +grant that. + +DOLL Yea, joy, our chains and our jewels. + +FALSTAFF Your brooches, pearls, and ouches--for to +serve bravely is to come halting off, you know; to +come off the breach with his pike bent bravely, and +to surgery bravely, to venture upon the charged +chambers bravely-- + +DOLL Hang yourself, you muddy conger, hang yourself! + +HOSTESS By my troth, this is the old fashion. You two +never meet but you fall to some discord. You are +both, i' good truth, as rheumatic as two dry toasts. +You cannot one bear with another's confirmities. +What the good-year! One must bear, and [to Doll] +that must be you. You are the weaker vessel, as they +say, the emptier vessel. + +DOLL Can a weak empty vessel bear such a huge full +hogshead? There's a whole merchant's venture of +Bordeaux stuff in him. You have not seen a hulk +better stuffed in the hold.--Come, I'll be friends +with thee, Jack. Thou art going to the wars, and +whether I shall ever see thee again or no, there is +nobody cares. + +[Enter Drawer.] + + +DRAWER Sir, Ancient Pistol's below and would speak +with you. + +DOLL Hang him, swaggering rascal! Let him not come +hither. It is the foul-mouthed'st rogue in England. + +HOSTESS If he swagger, let him not come here. No, by +my faith, I must live among my neighbors. I'll no +swaggerers. I am in good name and fame with the +very best. Shut the door. There comes no swaggerers +here. I have not lived all this while to have +swaggering now. Shut the door, I pray you. + +FALSTAFF Dost thou hear, hostess? + +HOSTESS Pray you pacify yourself, Sir John. There +comes no swaggerers here. + +FALSTAFF Dost thou hear? It is mine ancient. + +HOSTESS Tilly-vally, Sir John, ne'er tell me. And your +ancient swaggerer comes not in my doors. I was +before Master Tisick the debuty t' other day, and, as +he said to me--'twas no longer ago than Wednesday +last, i' good faith--"Neighbor Quickly," says +he--Master Dumb, our minister, was by then-- +"Neighbor Quickly," says he, "receive those that +are civil, for," said he, "you are in an ill name." +Now he said so, I can tell whereupon. "For," says +he, "you are an honest woman, and well thought +on. Therefore take heed what guests you receive. +Receive," says he, "no swaggering companions." +There comes none here. You would bless you to +hear what he said. No, I'll no swaggerers. + +FALSTAFF He's no swaggerer, hostess, a tame cheater, i' +faith. You may stroke him as gently as a puppy +greyhound. He'll not swagger with a Barbary hen if +her feathers turn back in any show of resistance.-- +Call him up, drawer. [Drawer exits.] + +HOSTESS "Cheater" call you him? I will bar no honest +man my house, nor no cheater, but I do not love +swaggering. By my troth, I am the worse when one +says "swagger." Feel, masters, how I shake; look +you, I warrant you. + +DOLL So you do, hostess. + +HOSTESS Do I? Yea, in very truth, do I, an 'twere an +aspen leaf. I cannot abide swaggerers. + +[Enter Ancient Pistol, Bardolph, and Page.] + + +PISTOL God save you, Sir John. + +FALSTAFF Welcome, Ancient Pistol. Here, Pistol, I +charge you with a cup of sack. Do you discharge +upon mine hostess. + +PISTOL I will discharge upon her, Sir John, with two +bullets. + +FALSTAFF She is pistol-proof. Sir, you shall not hardly +offend her. + +HOSTESS Come, I'll drink no proofs nor no bullets. I'll +drink no more than will do me good, for no man's +pleasure, I. + +PISTOL Then, to you, Mistress Dorothy! I will charge +you. + +DOLL Charge me? I scorn you, scurvy companion. +What, you poor, base, rascally, cheating lack-linen +mate! Away, you mouldy rogue, away! I am meat for +your master. + +PISTOL I know you, Mistress Dorothy. + +DOLL Away, you cutpurse rascal, you filthy bung, away! +By this wine, I'll thrust my knife in your mouldy +chaps an you play the saucy cuttle with me. Away, +you bottle-ale rascal, you basket-hilt stale juggler, +you. Since when, I pray you, sir? God's light, with +two points on your shoulder? Much! + +PISTOL God let me not live but I will murder your ruff +for this. + +FALSTAFF No more, Pistol. I would not have you go off +here. Discharge yourself of our company, Pistol. + +HOSTESS No, good Captain Pistol, not here, sweet +captain! + +DOLL Captain? Thou abominable damned cheater, art +thou not ashamed to be called captain? An captains +were of my mind, they would truncheon you out for +taking their names upon you before you have +earned them. You a captain? You slave, for what? +For tearing a poor whore's ruff in a bawdy house? +He a captain! Hang him, rogue. He lives upon +mouldy stewed prunes and dried cakes. A captain? +God's light, these villains will make the word as +odious as the word "occupy," which was an excellent +good word before it was ill sorted. Therefore +captains had need look to 't. + +BARDOLPH, [to Pistol] Pray thee go down, good ancient. + +FALSTAFF Hark thee hither, Mistress Doll. + +PISTOL, [to Bardolph] Not I. I tell thee what, Corporal +Bardolph, I could tear her. I'll be revenged of her. + +PAGE Pray thee go down. + +PISTOL I'll see her damned first to Pluto's damned +lake, by this hand, to th' infernal deep with Erebus +and tortures vile also. Hold hook and line, say I. +Down, down, dogs! Down, Fates! Have we not +Hiren here? [He draws his sword.] + +HOSTESS Good Captain Peesell, be quiet. 'Tis very late, +i' faith. I beseek you now, aggravate your choler. + +PISTOL These be good humors indeed. Shall pack-horses +and hollow pampered jades of Asia, which +cannot go but thirty mile a day, compare with +Caesars and with cannibals and Troyant Greeks? +Nay, rather damn them with King Cerberus, and let +the welkin roar. Shall we fall foul for toys? + +HOSTESS By my troth, captain, these are very bitter +words. + +BARDOLPH Begone, good ancient. This will grow to a +brawl anon. + +PISTOL Die men like dogs! Give crowns like pins! Have +we not Hiren here? + +HOSTESS O' my word, captain, there's none such here. +What the good-year, do you think I would deny her? +For God's sake, be quiet. + +PISTOL Then feed and be fat, my fair Calipolis. Come, +give 's some sack. Si fortune me tormente, sperato +me contento. Fear we broadsides? No, let the fiend +give fire. Give me some sack, and, sweetheart, lie +thou there. [Laying down his sword.] Come we to +full points here? And are etceteras nothings? + +FALSTAFF Pistol, I would be quiet. + +PISTOL Sweet knight, I kiss thy neaf. What, we have +seen the seven stars. + +DOLL For God's sake, thrust him downstairs. I cannot +endure such a fustian rascal. + +PISTOL "Thrust him downstairs"? Know we not Galloway +nags? + +FALSTAFF Quoit him down, Bardolph, like a shove-groat +shilling. Nay, an he do nothing but speak +nothing, he shall be nothing here. + +BARDOLPH Come, get you downstairs. + +PISTOL, [taking up his sword] What, shall we have +incision? Shall we imbrue? Then death rock me +asleep, abridge my doleful days. Why then, let +grievous, ghastly, gaping wounds untwind the Sisters +Three. Come, Atropos, I say. + +HOSTESS Here's goodly stuff toward! + +FALSTAFF Give me my rapier, boy. + +DOLL I pray thee, Jack, I pray thee do not draw. + +FALSTAFF, [to Pistol] Get you downstairs. [They fight.] + +HOSTESS Here's a goodly tumult. I'll forswear keeping +house afore I'll be in these tirrits and frights. So, +murder, I warrant now. Alas, alas, put up your +naked weapons, put up your naked weapons. +[Bardolph and Pistol exit.] + +DOLL I pray thee, Jack, be quiet. The rascal's gone. Ah, +you whoreson little valiant villain, you. + +HOSTESS, [to Falstaff] Are you not hurt i' th' groin? +Methought he made a shrewd thrust at your belly. + +[Enter Bardolph.] + + +FALSTAFF Have you turned him out o' doors? + +BARDOLPH Yea, sir. The rascal's drunk. You have hurt +him, sir, i' th' shoulder. + +FALSTAFF A rascal to brave me! + +DOLL Ah, you sweet little rogue, you. Alas, poor ape, +how thou sweat'st! Come, let me wipe thy face. +Come on, you whoreson chops. Ah, rogue, i' faith, I +love thee. Thou art as valorous as Hector of Troy, +worth five of Agamemnon, and ten times better +than the Nine Worthies. Ah, villain! + +FALSTAFF Ah, rascally slave! I will toss the rogue in a +blanket. + +DOLL Do, an thou darest for thy heart. An thou dost, I'll +canvass thee between a pair of sheets. + +[Enter Musicians and Francis.] + + +PAGE The music is come, sir. + +FALSTAFF Let them play.--Play, sirs.--Sit on my knee, +Doll. A rascal bragging slave! The rogue fled from +me like quicksilver. + +DOLL I' faith, and thou followed'st him like a church. +Thou whoreson little tidy Bartholomew boar-pig, +when wilt thou leave fighting a-days and foining a-nights +and begin to patch up thine old body for +heaven? + +[Enter behind them Prince and Poins disguised.] + + +FALSTAFF Peace, good Doll. Do not speak like a death's-head; +do not bid me remember mine end. + +DOLL Sirrah, what humor's the Prince of? + +FALSTAFF A good shallow young fellow, he would have +made a good pantler; he would 'a chipped bread +well. + +DOLL They say Poins has a good wit. + +FALSTAFF He a good wit? Hang him, baboon. His wit's +as thick as Tewkesbury mustard. There's no more +conceit in him than is in a mallet. + +DOLL Why does the Prince love him so then? + +FALSTAFF Because their legs are both of a bigness, and +he plays at quoits well, and eats conger and fennel, +and drinks off candles' ends for flap-dragons, and +rides the wild mare with the boys, and jumps upon +joint stools, and swears with a good grace, and +wears his boots very smooth like unto the sign of +the Leg, and breeds no bate with telling of discreet +stories, and such other gambol faculties he has that +show a weak mind and an able body, for the which +the Prince admits him; for the Prince himself is +such another. The weight of a hair will turn the +scales between their avoirdupois. + +PRINCE, [aside to Poins] Would not this nave of a wheel +have his ears cut off? + +POINS Let's beat him before his whore. + +PRINCE Look whe'er the withered elder hath not his +poll clawed like a parrot. + +POINS Is it not strange that desire should so many years +outlive performance? + +FALSTAFF Kiss me, Doll. + +PRINCE, [aside to Poins] Saturn and Venus this year in +conjunction! What says th' almanac to that? + +POINS And look whether the fiery trigon, his man, be +not lisping to his master's old tables, his notebook, +his counsel keeper. + +FALSTAFF, [to Doll] Thou dost give me flattering busses. + +DOLL By my troth, I kiss thee with a most constant +heart. + +FALSTAFF I am old, I am old. + +DOLL I love thee better than I love e'er a scurvy young +boy of them all. + +FALSTAFF What stuff wilt thou have a kirtle of? I shall +receive money o' Thursday; thou shalt have a cap +tomorrow. A merry song! Come, it grows late. We'll +to bed. Thou 'lt forget me when I am gone. + +DOLL By my troth, thou 'lt set me a-weeping an thou +sayst so. Prove that ever I dress myself handsome till +thy return. Well, harken a' th' end. + +FALSTAFF Some sack, Francis. + +PRINCE, POINS, [coming forward] Anon, anon, sir. + +FALSTAFF Ha? A bastard son of the King's?--And art +not thou Poins his brother? + +PRINCE Why, thou globe of sinful continents, what a +life dost thou lead? + +FALSTAFF A better than thou. I am a gentleman. Thou +art a drawer. + +PRINCE Very true, sir, and I come to draw you out by +the ears. + +HOSTESS O, the Lord preserve thy good Grace! By my +troth, welcome to London. Now the Lord bless that +sweet face of thine. O Jesu, are you come from +Wales? + +FALSTAFF, [to Prince] Thou whoreson mad compound +of majesty, by this light flesh and corrupt blood, +thou art welcome. + +DOLL How? You fat fool, I scorn you. + +POINS My lord, he will drive you out of your revenge +and turn all to a merriment if you take not the heat. + +PRINCE, [to Falstaff] You whoreson candle-mine, you, +how vilely did you speak of me even now before +this honest, virtuous, civil gentlewoman! + +HOSTESS God's blessing of your good heart, and so she +is, by my troth. + +FALSTAFF, [to Prince] Didst thou hear me? + +PRINCE Yea, and you knew me as you did when you ran +away by Gad's Hill. You knew I was at your back, +and spoke it on purpose to try my patience. + +FALSTAFF No, no, no, not so. I did not think thou wast +within hearing. + +PRINCE I shall drive you, then, to confess the wilfull +abuse, and then I know how to handle you. + +FALSTAFF No abuse, Hal, o' mine honor, no abuse. + +PRINCE Not to dispraise me and call me pantler and +bread-chipper and I know not what? + +FALSTAFF No abuse, Hal. + +POINS No abuse? + +FALSTAFF No abuse, Ned, i' th' world, honest Ned, +none. I dispraised him before the wicked, [(to +Prince)] that the wicked might not fall in love with +thee; in which doing, I have done the part of a +careful friend and a true subject, and thy father is to +give me thanks for it. No abuse, Hal.--None, Ned, +none. No, faith, boys, none. + +PRINCE See now whether pure fear and entire cowardice +doth not make thee wrong this virtuous gentlewoman +to close with us. Is she of the wicked, is +thine hostess here of the wicked, or is thy boy of the +wicked, or honest Bardolph, whose zeal burns in +his nose, of the wicked? + +POINS Answer, thou dead elm, answer. + +FALSTAFF The fiend hath pricked down Bardolph irrecoverable, +and his face is Lucifer's privy kitchen, +where he doth nothing but roast malt-worms. For +the boy, there is a good angel about him, but the +devil blinds him too. + +PRINCE For the women? + +FALSTAFF For one of them, she's in hell already and +burns poor souls. For th' other, I owe her money, +and whether she be damned for that I know not. + +HOSTESS No, I warrant you. + +FALSTAFF No, I think thou art not. I think thou art quit +for that. Marry, there is another indictment upon +thee for suffering flesh to be eaten in thy house +contrary to the law, for the which I think thou wilt +howl. + +HOSTESS All vitlars do so. What's a joint of mutton or +two in a whole Lent? + +PRINCE, [to Doll] You, gentlewoman. + +DOLL What says your Grace? + +FALSTAFF His grace says that which his flesh rebels +against. +[Peto knocks at door.] + +HOSTESS Who knocks so loud at door? Look to th' door +there, Francis. [Francis exits.] + +[Enter Peto.] + + +PRINCE Peto, how now, what news? + +PETO +The King your father is at Westminster, +And there are twenty weak and wearied posts +Come from the north, and as I came along +I met and overtook a dozen captains, +Bareheaded, sweating, knocking at the taverns +And asking everyone for Sir John Falstaff. + +PRINCE +By heaven, Poins, I feel me much to blame +So idly to profane the precious time +When tempest of commotion, like the south +Borne with black vapor, doth begin to melt +And drop upon our bare unarmed heads.-- +Give me my sword and cloak.--Falstaff, good +night. [Prince, Peto, and Poins exit.] + +FALSTAFF Now comes in the sweetest morsel of the +night, and we must hence and leave it unpicked. + +[(Knocking. Bardolph exits.)] More knocking at the +door? [(Bardolph returns.)] How now, what's the +matter? + +BARDOLPH +You must away to court, sir, presently. +A dozen captains stay at door for you. + +FALSTAFF, [to Page] Pay the musicians, sirrah.-- +Farewell, hostess.--Farewell, Doll. You see, my +good wenches, how men of merit are sought after. +The undeserver may sleep when the man of action +is called on. Farewell, good wenches. If I be not sent +away post, I will see you again ere I go. + +DOLL I cannot speak. If my heart be not ready to +burst--well, sweet Jack, have a care of thyself. + +FALSTAFF Farewell, farewell. +[He exits with Bardolph, Page, and Musicians.] + +HOSTESS Well, fare thee well. I have known thee these +twenty-nine years, come peasecod time, but an +honester and truer-hearted man--well, fare thee +well. + +BARDOLPH, [within] Mistress Tearsheet! + +HOSTESS What's the matter? + +BARDOLPH, [within] Bid Mistress Tearsheet come to my +master. + +HOSTESS O, run, Doll, run, run, good Doll. Come.-- +She comes blubbered.--Yea! Will you come, Doll? +[They exit.] + + +ACT 3 +===== + +Scene 1 +======= +[Enter the King in his nightgown with a Page.] + + +KING +Go call the Earls of Surrey and of Warwick; +But, ere they come, bid them o'erread these letters +And well consider of them. Make good speed. +[Page exits.] +How many thousand of my poorest subjects +Are at this hour asleep! O sleep, O gentle sleep, +Nature's soft nurse, how have I frighted thee, +That thou no more wilt weigh my eyelids down +And steep my senses in forgetfulness? +Why rather, sleep, liest thou in smoky cribs, +Upon uneasy pallets stretching thee, +And hushed with buzzing night-flies to thy slumber, +Than in the perfumed chambers of the great, +Under the canopies of costly state, +And lulled with sound of sweetest melody? +O thou dull god, why liest thou with the vile +In loathsome beds and leavest the kingly couch +A watch-case or a common 'larum bell? +Wilt thou upon the high and giddy mast +Seal up the shipboy's eyes and rock his brains +In cradle of the rude imperious surge +And in the visitation of the winds, +Who take the ruffian billows by the top, +Curling their monstrous heads and hanging them +With deafing clamor in the slippery clouds +That with the hurly death itself awakes? +Canst thou, O partial sleep, give thy repose +To the wet sea-boy in an hour so rude, +And, in the calmest and most stillest night, +With all appliances and means to boot, +Deny it to a king? Then, happy low, lie down. +Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. + +[Enter Warwick, Surrey and Sir John Blunt.] + + +WARWICK +Many good morrows to your Majesty. + +KING Is it good morrow, lords? + +WARWICK 'Tis one o'clock, and past. + +KING +Why then, good morrow to you all, my lords. +Have you read o'er the letter that I sent you? + +WARWICK We have, my liege. + +KING +Then you perceive the body of our kingdom +How foul it is, what rank diseases grow, +And with what danger near the heart of it. + +WARWICK +It is but as a body yet distempered, +Which to his former strength may be restored +With good advice and little medicine. +My Lord Northumberland will soon be cooled. + +KING +O God, that one might read the book of fate +And see the revolution of the times +Make mountains level, and the continent, +Weary of solid firmness, melt itself +Into the sea, and other times to see +The beachy girdle of the ocean +Too wide for Neptune's hips; how chance's mocks +And changes fill the cup of alteration +With divers liquors! O, if this were seen, +The happiest youth, viewing his progress through, +What perils past, what crosses to ensue, +Would shut the book and sit him down and die. +'Tis not ten years gone +Since Richard and Northumberland, great friends, +Did feast together, and in two years after +Were they at wars. It is but eight years since +This Percy was the man nearest my soul, +Who like a brother toiled in my affairs +And laid his love and life under my foot, +Yea, for my sake, even to the eyes of Richard +Gave him defiance. But which of you was by-- +[To Warwick.] You, cousin Nevil, as I may +remember-- +When Richard, with his eye brimful of tears, +Then checked and rated by Northumberland, +Did speak these words, now proved a prophecy? +"Northumberland, thou ladder by the which +My cousin Bolingbroke ascends my throne"-- +Though then, God knows, I had no such intent, +But that necessity so bowed the state +That I and greatness were compelled to kiss-- +"The time shall come," thus did he follow it, +"The time will come that foul sin, gathering head, +Shall break into corruption"--so went on, +Foretelling this same time's condition +And the division of our amity. + +WARWICK +There is a history in all men's lives +Figuring the natures of the times deceased, +The which observed, a man may prophesy, +With a near aim, of the main chance of things +As yet not come to life, who in their seeds +And weak beginning lie intreasured. +Such things become the hatch and brood of time, +And by the necessary form of this, +King Richard might create a perfect guess +That great Northumberland, then false to him, +Would of that seed grow to a greater falseness, +Which should not find a ground to root upon +Unless on you. + +KING Are these things then necessities? +Then let us meet them like necessities. +And that same word even now cries out on us. +They say the Bishop and Northumberland +Are fifty thousand strong. + +WARWICK It cannot be, my lord. +Rumor doth double, like the voice and echo, +The numbers of the feared. Please it your Grace +To go to bed. Upon my soul, my lord, +The powers that you already have sent forth +Shall bring this prize in very easily. +To comfort you the more, I have received +A certain instance that Glendower is dead. +Your Majesty hath been this fortnight ill, +And these unseasoned hours perforce must add +Unto your sickness. + +KING I will take your counsel. +And were these inward wars once out of hand, +We would, dear lords, unto the Holy Land. +[They exit.] + +Scene 2 +======= +[Enter Justice Shallow and Justice Silence.] + + +SHALLOW Come on, come on, come on. Give me your +hand, sir, give me your hand, sir. An early stirrer, by +the rood. And how doth my good cousin Silence? + +SILENCE Good morrow, good cousin Shallow. + +SHALLOW And how doth my cousin your bedfellow? +And your fairest daughter and mine, my goddaughter +Ellen? + +SILENCE Alas, a black ousel, cousin Shallow. + +SHALLOW By yea and no, sir. I dare say my cousin +William is become a good scholar. He is at Oxford +still, is he not? + +SILENCE Indeed, sir, to my cost. + +SHALLOW He must then to the Inns o' Court shortly. I +was once of Clement's Inn, where I think they will +talk of mad Shallow yet. + +SILENCE You were called "Lusty Shallow" then, +cousin. + +SHALLOW By the Mass, I was called anything, and I +would have done anything indeed too, and roundly +too. There was I, and little John Doit of Staffordshire, +and black George Barnes, and Francis Pickbone, +and Will Squele, a Cotswold man. You had +not four such swinge-bucklers in all the Inns o' +Court again. And I may say to you, we knew where +the bona robas were and had the best of them all at +commandment. Then was Jack Falstaff, now Sir +John, a boy, and page to Thomas Mowbray, Duke of +Norfolk. + +SILENCE This Sir John, cousin, that comes hither anon +about soldiers? + +SHALLOW The same Sir John, the very same. I see him +break Scoggin's head at the court gate, when he +was a crack not thus high; and the very same day did +I fight with one Sampson Stockfish, a fruiterer, +behind Grey's Inn. Jesu, Jesu, the mad days that I +have spent! And to see how many of my old acquaintance +are dead. + +SILENCE We shall all follow, cousin. + +SHALLOW Certain, 'tis certain, very sure, very sure. +Death, as the Psalmist saith, is certain to all. All +shall die. How a good yoke of bullocks at Stamford +Fair? + +SILENCE By my troth, cousin, I was not there. + +SHALLOW Death is certain. Is old Dooble of your town +living yet? + +SILENCE Dead, sir. + +SHALLOW Jesu, Jesu, dead! He drew a good bow, and +dead? He shot a fine shoot. John o' Gaunt loved him +well, and betted much money on his head. Dead! He +would have clapped i' th' clout at twelve score, and +carried you a forehand shaft a fourteen and fourteen +and a half, that it would have done a man's +heart good to see. How a score of ewes now? + +SILENCE Thereafter as they be, a score of good ewes +may be worth ten pounds. + +SHALLOW And is old Dooble dead? + +SILENCE Here come two of Sir John Falstaff's men, as I +think. + +[Enter Bardolph and one with him.] + + +SHALLOW Good morrow, honest gentlemen. + +BARDOLPH I beseech you, which is Justice Shallow? + +SHALLOW I am Robert Shallow, sir, a poor esquire of +this county and one of the King's justices of the +peace. What is your good pleasure with me? + +BARDOLPH My captain, sir, commends him to you, my +captain, Sir John Falstaff, a tall gentleman, by +heaven, and a most gallant leader. + +SHALLOW He greets me well, sir. I knew him a good +backsword man. How doth the good knight? May I +ask how my lady his wife doth? + +BARDOLPH Sir, pardon. A soldier is better accommodated +than with a wife. + +SHALLOW It is well said, in faith, sir, and it is well said +indeed too. "Better accommodated." It is good, +yea, indeed is it. Good phrases are surely, and ever +were, very commendable. "Accommodated." It +comes of accommodo. Very good, a good phrase. + +BARDOLPH Pardon, sir, I have heard the word-- +"phrase" call you it? By this day, I know not the +phrase, but I will maintain the word with my sword +to be a soldierlike word, and a word of exceeding +good command, by heaven. "Accommodated," that +is when a man is, as they say, accommodated, or +when a man is being whereby he may be thought to +be accommodated, which is an excellent thing. + +[Enter Falstaff.] + + +SHALLOW It is very just. Look, here comes good Sir +John.--Give me your good hand, give me your +Worship's good hand. By my troth, you like well and +bear your years very well. Welcome, good Sir John. + +FALSTAFF I am glad to see you well, good Master +Robert Shallow.--Master Sure-card, as I think? + +SHALLOW No, Sir John. It is my cousin Silence, in +commission with me. + +FALSTAFF Good Master Silence, it well befits you +should be of the peace. + +SILENCE Your good Worship is welcome. + +FALSTAFF Fie, this is hot weather, gentlemen. Have you +provided me here half a dozen sufficient men? + +SHALLOW Marry, have we, sir. Will you sit? +[They sit at a table.] + +FALSTAFF Let me see them, I beseech you. + +SHALLOW Where's the roll? Where's the roll? Where's +the roll? Let me see, let me see, let me see. So, so, +so, so, so. So, so. Yea, marry, sir.--Rafe Mouldy!-- +Let them appear as I call, let them do so, let them +do so. + +[Enter Mouldy, followed by Shadow, Wart, Feeble, +and Bullcalf.] + +Let me see, where is Mouldy? + +MOULDY, [coming forward] Here, an it please you. + +SHALLOW What think you, Sir John? A good-limbed +fellow, young, strong, and of good friends. + +FALSTAFF Is thy name Mouldy? + +MOULDY Yea, an 't please you. + +FALSTAFF 'Tis the more time thou wert used. + +SHALLOW Ha, ha, ha, most excellent, i' faith! Things +that are mouldy lack use. Very singular good, in +faith. Well said, Sir John, very well said. + +FALSTAFF Prick him. +[Shallow marks the scroll.] + +MOULDY I was pricked well enough before, an you +could have let me alone. My old dame will be +undone now for one to do her husbandry and her +drudgery. You need not to have pricked me. There +are other men fitter to go out than I. + +FALSTAFF Go to. Peace, Mouldy. You shall go. Mouldy, +it is time you were spent. + +MOULDY Spent? + +SHALLOW Peace, fellow, peace. Stand aside. Know you +where you are?--For th' other, Sir John. Let me +see.--Simon Shadow! + +FALSTAFF Yea, marry, let me have him to sit under. +He's like to be a cold soldier. + +SHALLOW Where's Shadow? + +SHADOW, [coming forward] Here, sir. + +FALSTAFF Shadow, whose son art thou? + +SHADOW My mother's son, sir. + +FALSTAFF Thy mother's son! Like enough, and thy +father's shadow. So the son of the female is the +shadow of the male. It is often so, indeed, but much +of the father's substance. + +SHALLOW Do you like him, Sir John? + +FALSTAFF Shadow will serve for summer. Prick him, +for we have a number of shadows to fill up the +muster book. + +SHALLOW Thomas Wart! + +FALSTAFF Where's he? + +WART, [coming forward] Here, sir. + +FALSTAFF Is thy name Wart? + +WART Yea, sir. + +FALSTAFF Thou art a very ragged wart. + +SHALLOW Shall I prick him down, Sir John? + +FALSTAFF It were superfluous, for his apparel is built +upon his back, and the whole frame stands upon +pins. Prick him no more. + +SHALLOW Ha, ha, ha. You can do it, sir, you can do it. I +commend you well.--Francis Feeble! + +FEEBLE, [coming forward] Here, sir. + +SHALLOW What trade art thou, Feeble? + +FEEBLE A woman's tailor, sir. + +SHALLOW Shall I prick him, sir? + +FALSTAFF You may, but if he had been a man's tailor, +he'd ha' pricked you.--Wilt thou make as many +holes in an enemy's battle as thou hast done in a +woman's petticoat? + +FEEBLE I will do my good will, sir. You can have no +more. + +FALSTAFF Well said, good woman's tailor, well said, +courageous Feeble. Thou wilt be as valiant as the +wrathful dove or most magnanimous mouse.-- +Prick the woman's tailor well, Master Shallow, +deep, Master Shallow. + +FEEBLE I would Wart might have gone, sir. + +FALSTAFF I would thou wert a man's tailor, that thou +mightst mend him and make him fit to go. I cannot +put him to a private soldier that is the leader of so +many thousands. Let that suffice, most forcible +Feeble. + +FEEBLE It shall suffice, sir. + +FALSTAFF I am bound to thee, reverend Feeble.--Who +is the next? + +SHALLOW Peter Bullcalf o' th' green. + +FALSTAFF Yea, marry, let's see Bullcalf. + +BULLCALF, [coming forward] Here, sir. + +FALSTAFF Fore God, a likely fellow. Come, prick me +Bullcalf till he roar again. + +BULLCALF O Lord, good my lord captain-- + +FALSTAFF What, dost thou roar before thou art +pricked? + +BULLCALF O Lord, sir, I am a diseased man. + +FALSTAFF What disease hast thou? + +BULLCALF A whoreson cold, sir, a cough, sir, which I +caught with ringing in the King's affairs upon his +coronation day, sir. + +FALSTAFF Come, thou shalt go to the wars in a gown. +We will have away thy cold, and I will take such +order that thy friends shall ring for thee.--Is here +all? + +SHALLOW Here is two more called than your number. +You must have but four here, sir, and so I pray you +go in with me to dinner. + +FALSTAFF Come, I will go drink with you, but I cannot +tarry dinner. I am glad to see you, by my troth, +Master Shallow. + +SHALLOW O, Sir John, do you remember since we lay +all night in the windmill in Saint George's Field? + +FALSTAFF No more of that, good Master Shallow, no +more of that. + +SHALLOW Ha, 'twas a merry night. And is Jane Nightwork +alive? + +FALSTAFF She lives, Master Shallow. + +SHALLOW She never could away with me. + +FALSTAFF Never, never. She would always say she could +not abide Master Shallow. + +SHALLOW By the Mass, I could anger her to th' heart. +She was then a bona roba. Doth she hold her own +well? + +FALSTAFF Old, old, Master Shallow. + +SHALLOW Nay, she must be old. She cannot choose but +be old. Certain, she's old, and had Robin Nightwork +by old Nightwork before I came to Clement's Inn. + +SILENCE That's fifty-five year ago. + +SHALLOW Ha, cousin Silence, that thou hadst seen that +that this knight and I have seen!--Ha, Sir John, said +I well? + +FALSTAFF We have heard the chimes at midnight, Master +Shallow. + +SHALLOW That we have, that we have, that we have. In +faith, Sir John, we have. Our watchword was "Hem, +boys." Come, let's to dinner, come, let's to dinner. +Jesus, the days that we have seen! Come, come. +[Shallow, Silence, and Falstaff rise and exit.] + +BULLCALF Good Master Corporate Bardolph, stand my +friend, and here's four Harry ten-shillings in +French crowns for you. [He gives Bardolph money.] +In very truth, sir, I had as lief be hanged, sir, as go. +And yet, for mine own part, sir, I do not care, but +rather because I am unwilling, and, for mine own +part, have a desire to stay with my friends. Else, sir, +I did not care, for mine own part, so much. + +BARDOLPH Go to. Stand aside. + +MOULDY And, good Master Corporal Captain, for my +old dame's sake, stand my friend. She has nobody to +do anything about her when I am gone, and she is +old and cannot help herself. You shall have forty, +sir. [He gives money.] + +BARDOLPH Go to. Stand aside. + +FEEBLE By my troth, I care not. A man can die but +once. We owe God a death. I'll ne'er bear a base +mind. An 't be my destiny, so; an 't be not, so. No +man's too good to serve 's prince, and let it go +which way it will, he that dies this year is quit for +the next. + +BARDOLPH Well said. Th' art a good fellow. + +FEEBLE Faith, I'll bear no base mind. + +[Enter Falstaff and the Justices.] + + +FALSTAFF Come, sir, which men shall I have? + +SHALLOW Four of which you please. + +BARDOLPH, [aside to Falstaff] Sir, a word with you. I +have three pound to free Mouldy and Bullcalf. + +FALSTAFF Go to, well. + +SHALLOW Come, Sir John, which four will you have? + +FALSTAFF Do you choose for me. + +SHALLOW Marry, then, Mouldy, Bullcalf, Feeble, and +Shadow. + +FALSTAFF Mouldy and Bullcalf! For you, Mouldy, stay +at home till you are past service.--And for your +part, Bullcalf, grow till you come unto it. I will +none of you. [Mouldy and Bullcalf exit.] + +SHALLOW Sir John, Sir John, do not yourself wrong. +They are your likeliest men, and I would have you +served with the best. + +FALSTAFF Will you tell me, Master Shallow, how to +choose a man? Care I for the limb, the thews, the +stature, bulk and big assemblance of a man? Give +me the spirit, Master Shallow. Here's Wart. You see +what a ragged appearance it is. He shall charge you +and discharge you with the motion of a pewterer's +hammer, come off and on swifter than he that +gibbets on the brewer's bucket. And this same half-faced +fellow, Shadow, give me this man. He presents +no mark to the enemy. The foeman may with +as great aim level at the edge of a penknife. And for +a retreat, how swiftly will this Feeble, the woman's +tailor, run off! O, give me the spare men, and spare +me the great ones.--Put me a caliver into Wart's +hand, Bardolph. + +BARDOLPH, [giving Wart a musket] Hold, Wart. Traverse. +Thas, thas, thas. + +FALSTAFF, [to Wart] Come, manage me your caliver: so, +very well, go to, very good, exceeding good. O, give +me always a little, lean, old, chopped, bald shot. +Well said, i' faith, Wart. Th' art a good scab. Hold, +there's a tester for thee. [He gives Wart money.] + +SHALLOW He is not his craft's master. He doth not do it +right. I remember at Mile End Green, when I lay at +Clement's Inn--I was then Sir Dagonet in Arthur's +show--there was a little quiver fellow, and he +would manage you his piece thus. [Shallow performs +with the musket.] And he would about and +about, and come you in, and come you in. "Rah, +tah, tah," would he say. "Bounce," would he say, +and away again would he go, and again would he +come. I shall ne'er see such a fellow. + +FALSTAFF These fellows will do well, Master Shallow. +--God keep you, Master Silence. I will not use +many words with you. Fare you well, gentlemen +both. I thank you. I must a dozen mile tonight.-- +Bardolph, give the soldiers coats. + +SHALLOW Sir John, the Lord bless you. God prosper +your affairs. God send us peace. At your return, visit +our house. Let our old acquaintance be renewed. +Peradventure I will with you to the court. + +FALSTAFF Fore God, would you would, Master +Shallow. + +SHALLOW Go to. I have spoke at a word. God keep you. + +FALSTAFF Fare you well, gentle gentlemen. +[Shallow and Silence exit.] +On, Bardolph. Lead the men away. +[All but Falstaff exit.] +As I return, I will fetch off these justices. I do see +the bottom of Justice Shallow. Lord, Lord, how +subject we old men are to this vice of lying. This +same starved justice hath done nothing but prate to +me of the wildness of his youth and the feats he hath +done about Turnbull Street, and every third word a +lie, duer paid to the hearer than the Turk's tribute. I +do remember him at Clement's Inn, like a man +made after supper of a cheese paring. When he was +naked, he was, for all the world, like a forked radish +with a head fantastically carved upon it with a +knife. He was so forlorn that his dimensions to +any thick sight were invincible. He was the very +genius of famine, yet lecherous as a monkey, +and the whores called him "mandrake." He came +ever in the rearward of the fashion, and sung +those tunes to the overscutched huswives that he +heard the carmen whistle, and swore they were his +fancies or his good-nights. And now is this Vice's +dagger become a squire, and talks as familiarly +of John o' Gaunt as if he had been sworn brother +to him, and I'll be sworn he ne'er saw him but +once in the tilt-yard, and then he burst his head +for crowding among the Marshal's men. I saw it +and told John o' Gaunt he beat his own name, for +you might have thrust him and all his apparel into +an eel-skin; the case of a treble hautboy was a +mansion for him, a court. And now has he land and +beefs. Well, I'll be acquainted with him if I return, +and 't shall go hard but I'll make him a philosopher's +two stones to me. If the young dace be a +bait for the old pike, I see no reason in the law of +nature but I may snap at him. Let time shape, and +there an end. +[He exits.] + + +ACT 4 +===== + +Scene 1 +======= +[Enter the Archbishop of York, Mowbray, Lord +Bardolph, Hastings, and their officers within the Forest +of Gaultree.] + + +ARCHBISHOP What is this forest called? + +HASTINGS +'Tis Gaultree Forest, an 't shall please your Grace. + +ARCHBISHOP +Here stand, my lords, and send discoverers forth +To know the numbers of our enemies. + +HASTINGS +We have sent forth already. + +ARCHBISHOP 'Tis well done. +My friends and brethren in these great affairs, +I must acquaint you that I have received +New-dated letters from Northumberland, +Their cold intent, tenor, and substance, thus: +Here doth he wish his person, with such powers +As might hold sortance with his quality, +The which he could not levy; whereupon +He is retired, to ripe his growing fortunes, +To Scotland, and concludes in hearty prayers +That your attempts may overlive the hazard +And fearful meeting of their opposite. + +MOWBRAY +Thus do the hopes we have in him touch ground +And dash themselves to pieces. + +[Enter Messenger.] + + +HASTINGS Now, what news? + +MESSENGER +West of this forest, scarcely off a mile, +In goodly form comes on the enemy, +And, by the ground they hide, I judge their number +Upon or near the rate of thirty thousand. + +MOWBRAY +The just proportion that we gave them out. +Let us sway on and face them in the field. + +[Enter Westmoreland.] + + +ARCHBISHOP +What well-appointed leader fronts us here? + +MOWBRAY +I think it is my Lord of Westmoreland. + +WESTMORELAND +Health and fair greeting from our general, +The Prince Lord John and Duke of Lancaster. + +ARCHBISHOP +Say on, my Lord of Westmoreland, in peace, +What doth concern your coming. + +WESTMORELAND Then, my lord, +Unto your Grace do I in chief address +The substance of my speech. If that rebellion +Came like itself, in base and abject routs, +Led on by bloody youth, guarded with rage, +And countenanced by boys and beggary-- +I say, if damned commotion so appeared +In his true, native, and most proper shape, +You, reverend father, and these noble lords +Had not been here to dress the ugly form +Of base and bloody insurrection +With your fair honors. You, Lord Archbishop, +Whose see is by a civil peace maintained, +Whose beard the silver hand of peace hath touched, +Whose learning and good letters peace hath tutored, +Whose white investments figure innocence, +The dove and very blessed spirit of peace, +Wherefore do you so ill translate yourself +Out of the speech of peace, that bears such grace, +Into the harsh and boist'rous tongue of war, +Turning your books to graves, your ink to blood, +Your pens to lances, and your tongue divine +To a loud trumpet and a point of war? + +ARCHBISHOP +Wherefore do I this? So the question stands. +Briefly, to this end: we are all diseased +And with our surfeiting and wanton hours +Have brought ourselves into a burning fever, +And we must bleed for it; of which disease +Our late King Richard, being infected, died. +But, my most noble Lord of Westmoreland, +I take not on me here as a physician, +Nor do I as an enemy to peace +Troop in the throngs of military men, +But rather show awhile like fearful war +To diet rank minds sick of happiness +And purge th' obstructions which begin to stop +Our very veins of life. Hear me more plainly. +I have in equal balance justly weighed +What wrongs our arms may do, what wrongs we +suffer, +And find our griefs heavier than our offenses. +We see which way the stream of time doth run +And are enforced from our most quiet there +By the rough torrent of occasion, +And have the summary of all our griefs, +When time shall serve, to show in articles; +Which long ere this we offered to the King +And might by no suit gain our audience. +When we are wronged and would unfold our griefs, +We are denied access unto his person +Even by those men that most have done us wrong. +The dangers of the days but newly gone, +Whose memory is written on the earth +With yet-appearing blood, and the examples +Of every minute's instance, present now, +Hath put us in these ill-beseeming arms, +Not to break peace or any branch of it, +But to establish here a peace indeed, +Concurring both in name and quality. + +WESTMORELAND +Whenever yet was your appeal denied? +Wherein have you been galled by the King? +What peer hath been suborned to grate on you, +That you should seal this lawless bloody book +Of forged rebellion with a seal divine +And consecrate commotion's bitter edge? + +ARCHBISHOP +My brother general, the commonwealth, +To brother born an household cruelty, +I make my quarrel in particular. + +WESTMORELAND +There is no need of any such redress, +Or if there were, it not belongs to you. + +MOWBRAY +Why not to him in part, and to us all +That feel the bruises of the days before +And suffer the condition of these times +To lay a heavy and unequal hand +Upon our honors? + +WESTMORELAND O, my good Lord Mowbray, +Construe the times to their necessities, +And you shall say indeed it is the time, +And not the King, that doth you injuries. +Yet for your part, it not appears to me +Either from the King or in the present time +That you should have an inch of any ground +To build a grief on. Were you not restored +To all the Duke of Norfolk's seigniories, +Your noble and right well remembered father's? + +MOWBRAY +What thing, in honor, had my father lost +That need to be revived and breathed in me? +The King that loved him, as the state stood then, +Was force perforce compelled to banish him, +And then that Henry Bolingbroke and he, +Being mounted and both roused in their seats, +Their neighing coursers daring of the spur, +Their armed staves in charge, their beavers down, +Their eyes of fire sparkling through sights of steel, +And the loud trumpet blowing them together, +Then, then, when there was nothing could have +stayed +My father from the breast of Bolingbroke, +O, when the King did throw his warder down-- +His own life hung upon the staff he threw-- +Then threw he down himself and all their lives +That by indictment and by dint of sword +Have since miscarried under Bolingbroke. + +WESTMORELAND +You speak, Lord Mowbray, now you know not what. +The Earl of Hereford was reputed then +In England the most valiant gentleman. +Who knows on whom fortune would then have +smiled? +But if your father had been victor there, +He ne'er had borne it out of Coventry; +For all the country in a general voice +Cried hate upon him; and all their prayers and +love +Were set on Hereford, whom they doted on +And blessed and graced, indeed more than the +King. +But this is mere digression from my purpose. +Here come I from our princely general +To know your griefs, to tell you from his Grace +That he will give you audience; and wherein +It shall appear that your demands are just, +You shall enjoy them, everything set off +That might so much as think you enemies. + +MOWBRAY +But he hath forced us to compel this offer, +And it proceeds from policy, not love. + +WESTMORELAND +Mowbray, you overween to take it so. +This offer comes from mercy, not from fear. +For, lo, within a ken our army lies, +Upon mine honor, all too confident +To give admittance to a thought of fear. +Our battle is more full of names than yours, +Our men more perfect in the use of arms, +Our armor all as strong, our cause the best. +Then reason will our hearts should be as good. +Say you not then our offer is compelled. + +MOWBRAY +Well, by my will, we shall admit no parley. + +WESTMORELAND +That argues but the shame of your offense. +A rotten case abides no handling. + +HASTINGS +Hath the Prince John a full commission, +In very ample virtue of his father, +To hear and absolutely to determine +Of what conditions we shall stand upon? + +WESTMORELAND +That is intended in the General's name. +I muse you make so slight a question. + +ARCHBISHOP, [giving Westmoreland a paper] +Then take, my Lord of Westmoreland, this schedule, +For this contains our general grievances. +Each several article herein redressed, +All members of our cause, both here and hence +That are insinewed to this action, +Acquitted by a true substantial form +And present execution of our wills +To us and to our purposes confined, +We come within our awful banks again +And knit our powers to the arm of peace. + +WESTMORELAND +This will I show the General. Please you, lords, +In sight of both our battles we may meet, +And either end in peace, which God so frame, +Or to the place of difference call the swords +Which must decide it. + +ARCHBISHOP My lord, we will do so. +[Westmoreland exits.] + +MOWBRAY +There is a thing within my bosom tells me +That no conditions of our peace can stand. + +HASTINGS +Fear you not that. If we can make our peace +Upon such large terms and so absolute +As our conditions shall consist upon, +Our peace shall stand as firm as rocky mountains. + +MOWBRAY +Yea, but our valuation shall be such +That every slight and false-derived cause, +Yea, every idle, nice, and wanton reason, +Shall to the King taste of this action, +That, were our royal faiths martyrs in love, +We shall be winnowed with so rough a wind +That even our corn shall seem as light as chaff, +And good from bad find no partition. + +ARCHBISHOP +No, no, my lord. Note this: the King is weary +Of dainty and such picking grievances, +For he hath found to end one doubt by death +Revives two greater in the heirs of life; +And therefore will he wipe his tables clean +And keep no telltale to his memory +That may repeat and history his loss +To new remembrance. For full well he knows +He cannot so precisely weed this land +As his misdoubts present occasion; +His foes are so enrooted with his friends +That, plucking to unfix an enemy, +He doth unfasten so and shake a friend; +So that this land, like an offensive wife +That hath enraged him on to offer strokes, +As he is striking holds his infant up +And hangs resolved correction in the arm +That was upreared to execution. + +HASTINGS +Besides, the King hath wasted all his rods +On late offenders, that he now doth lack +The very instruments of chastisement, +So that his power, like to a fangless lion, +May offer but not hold. + +ARCHBISHOP 'Tis very true, +And therefore be assured, my good Lord Marshal, +If we do now make our atonement well, +Our peace will, like a broken limb united, +Grow stronger for the breaking. + +MOWBRAY Be it so. +Here is returned my Lord of Westmoreland. + +[Enter Westmoreland.] + + +WESTMORELAND, [to the Archbishop] +The Prince is here at hand. Pleaseth your Lordship +To meet his Grace just distance 'tween our armies. + +[Enter Prince John and his army.] + + +MOWBRAY, [to the Archbishop] +Your Grace of York, in God's name then set +forward. + +ARCHBISHOP +Before, and greet his Grace.--My lord, we come. +[All move forward.] + +JOHN OF LANCASTER +You are well encountered here, my cousin +Mowbray.-- +Good day to you, gentle Lord Archbishop,-- +And so to you, Lord Hastings, and to all.-- +My Lord of York, it better showed with you +When that your flock, assembled by the bell, +Encircled you to hear with reverence +Your exposition on the holy text +Than now to see you here, an iron man talking, +Cheering a rout of rebels with your drum, +Turning the word to sword, and life to death. +That man that sits within a monarch's heart +And ripens in the sunshine of his favor, +Would he abuse the countenance of the King, +Alack, what mischiefs might he set abroach +In shadow of such greatness! With you, Lord +Bishop, +It is even so. Who hath not heard it spoken +How deep you were within the books of God, +To us the speaker in His parliament, +To us th' imagined voice of God Himself, +The very opener and intelligencer +Between the grace, the sanctities, of heaven, +And our dull workings? O, who shall believe +But you misuse the reverence of your place, +Employ the countenance and grace of heaven +As a false favorite doth his prince's name, +In deeds dishonorable? You have ta'en up, +Under the counterfeited zeal of God, +The subjects of His substitute, my father, +And both against the peace of heaven and him +Have here up-swarmed them. + +ARCHBISHOP Good my Lord of +Lancaster, +I am not here against your father's peace, +But, as I told my Lord of Westmoreland, +The time misordered doth, in common sense, +Crowd us and crush us to this monstrous form +To hold our safety up. I sent your Grace +The parcels and particulars of our grief, +The which hath been with scorn shoved from the +court, +Whereon this Hydra son of war is born, +Whose dangerous eyes may well be charmed asleep +With grant of our most just and right desires, +And true obedience, of this madness cured, +Stoop tamely to the foot of majesty. + +MOWBRAY +If not, we ready are to try our fortunes +To the last man. + +HASTINGS And though we here fall down, +We have supplies to second our attempt; +If they miscarry, theirs shall second them, +And so success of mischief shall be born, +And heir from heir shall hold his quarrel up +Whiles England shall have generation. + +JOHN OF LANCASTER +You are too shallow, Hastings, much too shallow +To sound the bottom of the after-times. + +WESTMORELAND +Pleaseth your Grace to answer them directly +How far forth you do like their articles. + +JOHN OF LANCASTER +I like them all, and do allow them well, +And swear here by the honor of my blood +My father's purposes have been mistook, +And some about him have too lavishly +Wrested his meaning and authority. +[To the Archbishop.] My lord, these griefs shall be +with speed redressed; +Upon my soul, they shall. If this may please you, +Discharge your powers unto their several counties, +As we will ours, and here, between the armies, +Let's drink together friendly and embrace, +That all their eyes may bear those tokens home +Of our restored love and amity. + +ARCHBISHOP +I take your princely word for these redresses. + +JOHN OF LANCASTER +I give it you, and will maintain my word, +And thereupon I drink unto your Grace. +[The Leaders of both armies begin to drink together.] + +HASTINGS, [to an Officer] +Go, captain, and deliver to the army +This news of peace. Let them have pay, and part. +I know it will well please them. Hie thee, captain. +[Officer exits.] + +ARCHBISHOP, [toasting Westmoreland] +To you, my noble Lord of Westmoreland. + +WESTMORELAND, [returning the toast] +I pledge your Grace, and if you knew what pains +I have bestowed to breed this present peace, +You would drink freely. But my love to you +Shall show itself more openly hereafter. + +ARCHBISHOP +I do not doubt you. + +WESTMORELAND I am glad of it.-- +Health to my lord and gentle cousin, Mowbray. + +MOWBRAY +You wish me health in very happy season, +For I am on the sudden something ill. + +ARCHBISHOP +Against ill chances men are ever merry, +But heaviness foreruns the good event. + +WESTMORELAND +Therefore be merry, coz, since sudden sorrow +Serves to say thus: "Some good thing comes +tomorrow." + +ARCHBISHOP +Believe me, I am passing light in spirit. + +MOWBRAY +So much the worse if your own rule be true. +[Shout within.] + +JOHN OF LANCASTER +The word of peace is rendered. Hark how they +shout. + +MOWBRAY +This had been cheerful after victory. + +ARCHBISHOP +A peace is of the nature of a conquest, +For then both parties nobly are subdued, +And neither party loser. + +JOHN OF LANCASTER, [to Westmoreland] Go, my lord, +And let our army be discharged too. +[Westmoreland exits.] +[To the Archbishop.] And, good my lord, so please +you, let our trains +March by us, that we may peruse the men +We should have coped withal. + +ARCHBISHOP Go, good Lord +Hastings, +And ere they be dismissed, let them march by. +[Hastings exits.] + +JOHN OF LANCASTER +I trust, lords, we shall lie tonight together. + +[Enter Westmoreland.] + +Now, cousin, wherefore stands our army still? + +WESTMORELAND +The leaders, having charge from you to stand, +Will not go off until they hear you speak. + +JOHN OF LANCASTER They know their duties. + +[Enter Hastings.] + + +HASTINGS, [to the Archbishop] +My lord, our army is dispersed already. +Like youthful steers unyoked, they take their +courses +East, west, north, south, or, like a school broke up, +Each hurries toward his home and sporting-place. + +WESTMORELAND +Good tidings, my Lord Hastings, for the which +I do arrest thee, traitor, of high treason.-- +And you, Lord Archbishop, and you, Lord Mowbray, +Of capital treason I attach you both. + +MOWBRAY +Is this proceeding just and honorable? + +WESTMORELAND Is your assembly so? + +ARCHBISHOP +Will you thus break your faith? + +JOHN OF LANCASTER I pawned thee none. +I promised you redress of these same grievances +Whereof you did complain, which, by mine honor, +I will perform with a most Christian care. +But for you rebels, look to taste the due +Meet for rebellion and such acts as yours. +Most shallowly did you these arms commence, +Fondly brought here, and foolishly sent hence.-- +Strike up our drums; pursue the scattered stray. +God, and not we, hath safely fought today.-- +Some guard these traitors to the block of death, +Treason's true bed and yielder-up of breath. +[They exit.] + +Scene 2 +======= +[Alarum. Excursions. Enter Falstaff and Colevile.] + + +FALSTAFF What's your name, sir? Of what condition are +you, and of what place, I pray? + +COLEVILE I am a knight, sir, and my name is Colevile of +the Dale. + +FALSTAFF Well then, Colevile is your name, a knight is +your degree, and your place the Dale. Colevile shall +be still your name, a traitor your degree, and the +dungeon your place, a place deep enough so shall +you be still Colevile of the Dale. + +COLEVILE Are not you Sir John Falstaff? + +FALSTAFF As good a man as he, sir, whoe'er I am. Do +you yield, sir, or shall I sweat for you? If I do sweat, +they are the drops of thy lovers and they weep for +thy death. Therefore rouse up fear and trembling, +and do observance to my mercy. + +COLEVILE I think you are Sir John Falstaff, and in that +thought yield me. + +FALSTAFF I have a whole school of tongues in this belly +of mine, and not a tongue of them all speaks any +other word but my name. An I had but a belly of any +indifferency, I were simply the most active fellow in +Europe. My womb, my womb, my womb undoes +me. Here comes our general. + +[Enter John, Westmoreland, and the rest.] + + +JOHN OF LANCASTER +The heat is past. Follow no further now. +Call in the powers, good cousin Westmoreland. +[Westmoreland exits. Retreat is sounded.] +Now, Falstaff, where have you been all this while? +When everything is ended, then you come. +These tardy tricks of yours will, on my life, +One time or other break some gallows' back. + +FALSTAFF I would be sorry, my lord, but it should be +thus. I never knew yet but rebuke and check was the +reward of valor. Do you think me a swallow, an +arrow, or a bullet? Have I in my poor and old +motion the expedition of thought? I have speeded +hither with the very extremest inch of possibility. I +have foundered ninescore and odd posts, and here, +travel-tainted as I am, have in my pure and immaculate +valor taken Sir John Colevile of the Dale, a most +furious knight and valorous enemy. But what of +that? He saw me and yielded, that I may justly say, +with the hook-nosed fellow of Rome, "There, cousin, +I came, saw, and overcame." + +JOHN OF LANCASTER It was more of his courtesy than +your deserving. + +FALSTAFF I know not. Here he is, and here I yield him. +And I beseech your Grace let it be booked with the +rest of this day's deeds, or, by the Lord, I will have it +in a particular ballad else, with mine own picture +on the top on 't, Colevile kissing my foot; to the +which course if I be enforced, if you do not all show +like gilt twopences to me, and I in the clear sky of +fame o'ershine you as much as the full moon doth +the cinders of the element (which show like pins' +heads to her), believe not the word of the noble. +Therefore let me have right, and let desert mount. + +JOHN OF LANCASTER Thine's too heavy to mount. + +FALSTAFF Let it shine, then. + +JOHN OF LANCASTER Thine's too thick to shine. + +FALSTAFF Let it do something, my good lord, that may +do me good, and call it what you will. + +JOHN OF LANCASTER Is thy name Colevile? + +COLEVILE It is, my lord. + +JOHN OF LANCASTER A famous rebel art thou, +Colevile. + +FALSTAFF And a famous true subject took him. + +COLEVILE +I am, my lord, but as my betters are +That led me hither. Had they been ruled by me, +You should have won them dearer than you have. + +FALSTAFF I know not how they sold themselves, but +thou, like a kind fellow, gavest thyself away gratis, +and I thank thee for thee. + +[Enter Westmoreland.] + + +JOHN OF LANCASTER Now, have you left pursuit? + +WESTMORELAND +Retreat is made and execution stayed. + +JOHN OF LANCASTER +Send Colevile with his confederates +To York, to present execution.-- +Blunt, lead him hence, and see you guard him sure. +[Blunt exits with Colevile.] +And now dispatch we toward the court, my lords. +I hear the King my father is sore sick. +Our news shall go before us to his Majesty, +[To Westmoreland.] Which, cousin, you shall bear +to comfort him, +And we with sober speed will follow you. + +FALSTAFF My lord, I beseech you give me leave to go +through Gloucestershire, and, when you come to +court, stand my good lord, pray, in your good +report. + +JOHN OF LANCASTER +Fare you well, Falstaff. I, in my condition, +Shall better speak of you than you deserve. +[All but Falstaff exit.] + +FALSTAFF I would you had but the wit; 'twere better +than your dukedom. Good faith, this same young +sober-blooded boy doth not love me, nor a man +cannot make him laugh. But that's no marvel; he +drinks no wine. There's never none of these demure +boys come to any proof, for thin drink doth so +overcool their blood, and making many fish meals, +that they fall into a kind of male green-sickness, and +then, when they marry, they get wenches. They are +generally fools and cowards, which some of us +should be too, but for inflammation. A good sherris +sack hath a two-fold operation in it. It ascends me +into the brain, dries me there all the foolish and +dull and crudy vapors which environ it, makes it +apprehensive, quick, forgetive, full of nimble, fiery, +and delectable shapes, which, delivered o'er to the +voice, the tongue, which is the birth, becomes +excellent wit. The second property of your excellent +sherris is the warming of the blood, which, +before cold and settled, left the liver white and pale, +which is the badge of pusillanimity and cowardice. +But the sherris warms it and makes it course from +the inwards to the parts' extremes. It illumineth the +face, which as a beacon gives warning to all the rest +of this little kingdom, man, to arm; and then the +vital commoners and inland petty spirits muster me +all to their captain, the heart, who, great and puffed +up with this retinue, doth any deed of courage, and +this valor comes of sherris. So that skill in the +weapon is nothing without sack, for that sets it +a-work; and learning a mere hoard of gold kept +by a devil till sack commences it and sets it in +act and use. Hereof comes it that Prince Harry is +valiant, for the cold blood he did naturally inherit +of his father he hath, like lean, sterile, and bare +land, manured, husbanded, and tilled with excellent +endeavor of drinking good and good store +of fertile sherris, that he is become very hot and valiant. +If I had a thousand sons, the first human principle +I would teach them should be to forswear +thin potations and to addict themselves to sack. + +[Enter Bardolph.] + +How now, Bardolph? + +BARDOLPH The army is discharged all and gone. + +FALSTAFF Let them go. I'll through Gloucestershire, +and there will I visit Master Robert Shallow, +Esquire. I have him already temp'ring between my +finger and my thumb, and shortly will I seal with +him. Come away. +[They exit.] + +Scene 3 +======= +[Enter the King in a chair, Warwick, Thomas Duke of +Clarence, Humphrey Duke of Gloucester, and +Attendants.] + + +KING +Now, lords, if God doth give successful end +To this debate that bleedeth at our doors, +We will our youth lead on to higher fields +And draw no swords but what are sanctified. +Our navy is addressed, our power collected, +Our substitutes in absence well invested, +And everything lies level to our wish. +Only we want a little personal strength; +And pause us till these rebels now afoot +Come underneath the yoke of government. + +WARWICK +Both which we doubt not but your Majesty +Shall soon enjoy. + +KING +Humphrey, my son of Gloucester, where is the +Prince your brother? + +HUMPHREY OF GLOUCESTER +I think he's gone to hunt, my lord, at Windsor. + +KING +And how accompanied? + +HUMPHREY OF GLOUCESTER I do not know, my lord. + +KING +Is not his brother Thomas of Clarence with him? + +HUMPHREY OF GLOUCESTER +No, my good lord, he is in presence here. + +THOMAS OF CLARENCE, [coming forward] What would +my lord and father? + +KING +Nothing but well to thee, Thomas of Clarence. +How chance thou art not with the Prince thy +brother? +He loves thee, and thou dost neglect him, Thomas. +Thou hast a better place in his affection +Than all thy brothers. Cherish it, my boy, +And noble offices thou mayst effect +Of mediation, after I am dead, +Between his greatness and thy other brethren. +Therefore omit him not, blunt not his love, +Nor lose the good advantage of his grace +By seeming cold or careless of his will. +For he is gracious if he be observed; +He hath a tear for pity, and a hand +Open as day for melting charity; +Yet notwithstanding, being incensed he is flint, +As humorous as winter, and as sudden +As flaws congealed in the spring of day. +His temper therefore must be well observed. +Chide him for faults, and do it reverently, +When you perceive his blood inclined to mirth; +But, being moody, give him time and scope +Till that his passions, like a whale on ground, +Confound themselves with working. Learn this, +Thomas, +And thou shalt prove a shelter to thy friends, +A hoop of gold to bind thy brothers in, +That the united vessel of their blood, +Mingled with venom of suggestion +(As, force perforce, the age will pour it in), +Shall never leak, though it do work as strong +As aconitum or rash gunpowder. + +THOMAS OF CLARENCE +I shall observe him with all care and love. + +KING +Why art thou not at Windsor with him, Thomas? + +THOMAS OF CLARENCE +He is not there today; he dines in London. + +KING +And how accompanied? Canst thou tell that? + +THOMAS OF CLARENCE +With Poins and other his continual followers. + +KING +Most subject is the fattest soil to weeds, +And he, the noble image of my youth, +Is overspread with them; therefore my grief +Stretches itself beyond the hour of death. +The blood weeps from my heart when I do shape, +In forms imaginary, th' unguided days +And rotten times that you shall look upon +When I am sleeping with my ancestors. +For when his headstrong riot hath no curb, +When rage and hot blood are his counsellors, +When means and lavish manners meet together, +O, with what wings shall his affections fly +Towards fronting peril and opposed decay! + +WARWICK +My gracious lord, you look beyond him quite. +The Prince but studies his companions +Like a strange tongue, wherein, to gain the +language, +'Tis needful that the most immodest word +Be looked upon and learned; which, once attained, +Your Highness knows, comes to no further use +But to be known and hated. So, like gross terms, +The Prince will, in the perfectness of time, +Cast off his followers, and their memory +Shall as a pattern or a measure live, +By which his Grace must mete the lives of others, +Turning past evils to advantages. + +KING +'Tis seldom when the bee doth leave her comb +In the dead carrion. + +[Enter Westmoreland.] + +Who's here? Westmoreland? + +WESTMORELAND +Health to my sovereign, and new happiness +Added to that that I am to deliver. +Prince John your son doth kiss your Grace's hand. +Mowbray, the Bishop Scroop, Hastings, and all +Are brought to the correction of your law. +There is not now a rebel's sword unsheathed, +But peace puts forth her olive everywhere. +The manner how this action hath been borne +Here at more leisure may your Highness read +With every course in his particular. +[He gives the King a paper.] + +KING +O Westmoreland, thou art a summer bird, +Which ever in the haunch of winter sings +The lifting up of day. + +[Enter Harcourt.] + +Look, here's more news. + +HARCOURT +From enemies heavens keep your Majesty, +And when they stand against you, may they fall +As those that I am come to tell you of. +The Earl Northumberland and the Lord Bardolph, +With a great power of English and of Scots, +Are by the shrieve of Yorkshire overthrown. +The manner and true order of the fight +This packet, please it you, contains at large. +[He gives the King papers.] + +KING +And wherefore should these good news make me +sick? +Will Fortune never come with both hands full, +But write her fair words still in foulest letters? +She either gives a stomach and no food-- +Such are the poor, in health--or else a feast +And takes away the stomach--such are the rich, +That have abundance and enjoy it not. +I should rejoice now at this happy news, +And now my sight fails, and my brain is giddy. +O, me! Come near me, now I am much ill. + +HUMPHREY OF GLOUCESTER +Comfort, your Majesty. + +THOMAS OF CLARENCE O, my royal father! + +WESTMORELAND +My sovereign lord, cheer up yourself, look up. + +WARWICK +Be patient, princes. You do know these fits +Are with his Highness very ordinary. +Stand from him, give him air. He'll straight be +well. + +THOMAS OF CLARENCE +No, no, he cannot long hold out these pangs. +Th' incessant care and labor of his mind +Hath wrought the mure that should confine it in +So thin that life looks through and will break out. + +HUMPHREY OF GLOUCESTER +The people fear me, for they do observe +Unfathered heirs and loathly births of nature. +The seasons change their manners, as the year +Had found some months asleep and leapt them +over. + +THOMAS OF CLARENCE +The river hath thrice flowed, no ebb between, +And the old folk, time's doting chronicles, +Say it did so a little time before +That our great-grandsire, Edward, sicked and died. + +WARWICK +Speak lower, princes, for the King recovers. + +HUMPHREY OF GLOUCESTER +This apoplexy will certain be his end. + +KING +I pray you take me up and bear me hence +Into some other chamber. Softly, pray. +[The King is carried to a bed on another +part of the stage.] +Let there be no noise made, my gentle friends, +Unless some dull and favorable hand +Will whisper music to my weary spirit. + +WARWICK, [to an Attendant] +Call for the music in the other room. + +KING +Set me the crown upon my pillow here. +[The crown is placed on the bed.] + +THOMAS OF CLARENCE, [aside to the others] +His eye is hollow, and he changes much. + +WARWICK +Less noise, less noise. + +[Enter Prince Harry.] + + +PRINCE Who saw the Duke of Clarence? + +THOMAS OF CLARENCE, [weeping] +I am here, brother, full of heaviness. + +PRINCE +How now, rain within doors, and none abroad? +How doth the King? + +HUMPHREY OF GLOUCESTER Exceeding ill. + +PRINCE +Heard he the good news yet? Tell it him. + +HUMPHREY OF GLOUCESTER +He altered much upon the hearing it. + +PRINCE If he be sick with joy, he'll recover without +physic. + +WARWICK +Not so much noise, my lords.--Sweet prince, speak +low. +The King your father is disposed to sleep. + +THOMAS OF CLARENCE +Let us withdraw into the other room. + +WARWICK +Will 't please your Grace to go along with us? + +PRINCE +No, I will sit and watch here by the King. +[All but Prince and King exit.] +Why doth the crown lie there upon his pillow, +Being so troublesome a bedfellow? +O polished perturbation, golden care, +That keep'st the ports of slumber open wide +To many a watchful night! Sleep with it now; +Yet not so sound and half so deeply sweet +As he whose brow with homely biggen bound +Snores out the watch of night. O majesty, +When thou dost pinch thy bearer, thou dost sit +Like a rich armor worn in heat of day, +That scald'st with safety. By his gates of breath +There lies a downy feather which stirs not; +Did he suspire, that light and weightless down +Perforce must move. My gracious lord, my father, +This sleep is sound indeed. This is a sleep +That from this golden rigol hath divorced +So many English kings. Thy due from me +Is tears and heavy sorrows of the blood, +Which nature, love, and filial tenderness +Shall, O dear father, pay thee plenteously. +My due from thee is this imperial crown, +Which, as immediate from thy place and blood, +Derives itself to me. [He puts on the crown.] Lo, +where it sits, +Which God shall guard. And, put the world's whole +strength +Into one giant arm, it shall not force +This lineal honor from me. This from thee +Will I to mine leave, as 'tis left to me. +[He exits with the crown.] + +KING, [rising up in his bed] Warwick! Gloucester! +Clarence! + +[Enter Warwick, Gloucester, Clarence, and others.] + + +THOMAS OF CLARENCE Doth the King call? + +WARWICK +What would your Majesty? How fares your Grace? + +KING +Why did you leave me here alone, my lords? + +THOMAS OF CLARENCE +We left the Prince my brother here, my liege, +Who undertook to sit and watch by you. + +KING +The Prince of Wales? Where is he? Let me see him. +He is not here. + +WARWICK +This door is open. He is gone this way. + +HUMPHREY OF GLOUCESTER +He came not through the chamber where we +stayed. + +KING +Where is the crown? Who took it from my pillow? + +WARWICK +When we withdrew, my liege, we left it here. + +KING +The Prince hath ta'en it hence. Go seek him out. +Is he so hasty that he doth suppose my sleep my +death? +Find him, my Lord of Warwick. Chide him hither. +[Warwick exits.] +This part of his conjoins with my disease +And helps to end me. See, sons, what things you +are, +How quickly nature falls into revolt +When gold becomes her object! +For this the foolish overcareful fathers +Have broke their sleep with thoughts, +Their brains with care, their bones with industry. +For this they have engrossed and piled up +The cankered heaps of strange-achieved gold. +For this they have been thoughtful to invest +Their sons with arts and martial exercises-- +When, like the bee, tolling from every flower +The virtuous sweets, +Our thighs packed with wax, our mouths with +honey, +We bring it to the hive and, like the bees, +Are murdered for our pains. This bitter taste +Yields his engrossments to the ending father. + +[Enter Warwick.] + +Now where is he that will not stay so long +Till his friend sickness hath determined me? + +WARWICK +My lord, I found the Prince in the next room, +Washing with kindly tears his gentle cheeks, +With such a deep demeanor in great sorrow +That tyranny, which never quaffed but blood, +Would, by beholding him, have washed his knife +With gentle eyedrops. He is coming hither. + +KING +But wherefore did he take away the crown? + +[Enter Prince Harry with the crown.] + +Lo where he comes.--Come hither to me, Harry.-- +Depart the chamber. Leave us here alone. +[Gloucester, Clarence, Warwick, and others exit.] + +PRINCE +I never thought to hear you speak again. + +KING +Thy wish was father, Harry, to that thought. +I stay too long by thee; I weary thee. +Dost thou so hunger for mine empty chair +That thou wilt needs invest thee with my honors +Before thy hour be ripe? O foolish youth, +Thou seek'st the greatness that will overwhelm +thee. +Stay but a little, for my cloud of dignity +Is held from falling with so weak a wind +That it will quickly drop. My day is dim. +Thou hast stol'n that which after some few hours +Were thine without offense, and at my death +Thou hast sealed up my expectation. +Thy life did manifest thou loved'st me not, +And thou wilt have me die assured of it. +Thou hid'st a thousand daggers in thy thoughts, +Whom thou hast whetted on thy stony heart +To stab at half an hour of my life. +What, canst thou not forbear me half an hour? +Then get thee gone, and dig my grave thyself, +And bid the merry bells ring to thine ear +That thou art crowned, not that I am dead. +Let all the tears that should bedew my hearse +Be drops of balm to sanctify thy head; +Only compound me with forgotten dust. +Give that which gave thee life unto the worms. +Pluck down my officers, break my decrees, +For now a time is come to mock at form. +Harry the Fifth is crowned. Up, vanity, +Down, royal state, all you sage councillors, +hence, +And to the English court assemble now, +From every region, apes of idleness. +Now, neighbor confines, purge you of your scum. +Have you a ruffian that will swear, drink, dance, +Revel the night, rob, murder, and commit +The oldest sins the newest kind of ways? +Be happy, he will trouble you no more. +England shall double gild his treble guilt. +England shall give him office, honor, might, +For the fifth Harry from curbed license plucks +The muzzle of restraint, and the wild dog +Shall flesh his tooth on every innocent. +O my poor kingdom, sick with civil blows! +When that my care could not withhold thy riots, +What wilt thou do when riot is thy care? +O, thou wilt be a wilderness again, +Peopled with wolves, thy old inhabitants. + +PRINCE, [placing the crown on the pillow] +O pardon me, my liege! But for my tears, +The moist impediments unto my speech, +I had forestalled this dear and deep rebuke +Ere you with grief had spoke and I had heard +The course of it so far. There is your crown, +And He that wears the crown immortally +Long guard it yours. [He kneels.] If I affect it +more +Than as your honor and as your renown, +Let me no more from this obedience rise, +Which my most inward true and duteous spirit +Teacheth this prostrate and exterior bending. +God witness with me, when I here came in +And found no course of breath within your Majesty, +How cold it struck my heart! If I do feign, +O, let me in my present wildness die +And never live to show th' incredulous world +The noble change that I have purposed. +Coming to look on you, thinking you dead, +And dead almost, my liege, to think you were, +I spake unto this crown as having sense, +And thus upbraided it: "The care on thee +depending +Hath fed upon the body of my father; +Therefore thou best of gold art worst of gold. +Other, less fine in carat, is more precious, +Preserving life in med'cine potable; +But thou, most fine, most honored, most renowned, +Hast eat thy bearer up." Thus, my most royal liege, +Accusing it, I put it on my head +To try with it, as with an enemy +That had before my face murdered my father, +The quarrel of a true inheritor. +But if it did infect my blood with joy +Or swell my thoughts to any strain of pride, +If any rebel or vain spirit of mine +Did with the least affection of a welcome +Give entertainment to the might of it, +Let God forever keep it from my head +And make me as the poorest vassal is +That doth with awe and terror kneel to it. + +KING O my son, +God put it in thy mind to take it hence +That thou mightst win the more thy father's love, +Pleading so wisely in excuse of it. +Come hither, Harry, sit thou by my bed +And hear, I think, the very latest counsel +That ever I shall breathe. +[The Prince rises from his knees and sits +near the bed.] +God knows, my son, +By what bypaths and indirect crook'd ways +I met this crown, and I myself know well +How troublesome it sat upon my head. +To thee it shall descend with better quiet, +Better opinion, better confirmation, +For all the soil of the achievement goes +With me into the earth. It seemed in me +But as an honor snatched with boist'rous hand, +And I had many living to upbraid +My gain of it by their assistances, +Which daily grew to quarrel and to bloodshed, +Wounding supposed peace. All these bold fears +Thou seest with peril I have answered, +For all my reign hath been but as a scene +Acting that argument. And now my death +Changes the mood, for what in me was purchased +Falls upon thee in a more fairer sort. +So thou the garland wear'st successively. +Yet though thou stand'st more sure than I could do, +Thou art not firm enough, since griefs are green, +And all my friends, which thou must make thy +friends, +Have but their stings and teeth newly ta'en out, +By whose fell working I was first advanced +And by whose power I well might lodge a fear +To be again displaced; which to avoid, +I cut them off and had a purpose now +To lead out many to the Holy Land, +Lest rest and lying still might make them look +Too near unto my state. Therefore, my Harry, +Be it thy course to busy giddy minds +With foreign quarrels, that action, hence borne +out, +May waste the memory of the former days. +More would I, but my lungs are wasted so +That strength of speech is utterly denied me. +How I came by the crown, O God forgive, +And grant it may with thee in true peace live. + +PRINCE My gracious liege, +You won it, wore it, kept it, gave it me. +Then plain and right must my possession be, +Which I with more than with a common pain +'Gainst all the world will rightfully maintain. + +[Enter John of Lancaster and others.] + + +KING +Look, look, here comes my John of Lancaster. + +JOHN OF LANCASTER +Health, peace, and happiness to my royal father. + +KING +Thou bring'st me happiness and peace, son John, +But health, alack, with youthful wings is flown +From this bare withered trunk. Upon thy sight +My worldly business makes a period. +Where is my Lord of Warwick? + +PRINCE My Lord of Warwick. + +[Enter Warwick.] + + +KING +Doth any name particular belong +Unto the lodging where I first did swoon? + +WARWICK +'Tis called Jerusalem, my noble lord. + +KING +Laud be to God! Even there my life must end. +It hath been prophesied to me many years, +I should not die but in Jerusalem, +Which vainly I supposed the Holy Land. +But bear me to that chamber; there I'll lie. +In that Jerusalem shall Harry die. +[They exit.] + + +ACT 5 +===== + +Scene 1 +======= +[Enter Shallow, Falstaff, Page, and Bardolph.] + + +SHALLOW By cock and pie, sir, you shall not away +tonight.--What, Davy, I say! + +FALSTAFF You must excuse me, Master Robert Shallow. + +SHALLOW I will not excuse you. You shall not be +excused. Excuses shall not be admitted. There is no +excuse shall serve. You shall not be excused.-- +Why, Davy! + +[Enter Davy.] + + +DAVY Here, sir. + +SHALLOW Davy, Davy, Davy, Davy, let me see, Davy, let +me see, Davy, let me see. Yea, marry, William cook, +bid him come hither.--Sir John, you shall not be +excused. + +DAVY Marry, sir, thus: those precepts cannot be served. +And again, sir: shall we sow the hade land with +wheat? + +SHALLOW With red wheat, Davy. But for William cook, +are there no young pigeons? + +DAVY Yes, sir. Here is now the smith's note for shoeing +and plow irons. [He gives Shallow a paper.] + +SHALLOW Let it be cast and paid.--Sir John, you shall +not be excused. + +DAVY Now, sir, a new link to the bucket must needs be +had. And, sir, do you mean to stop any of William's +wages about the sack he lost the other day at +Hinckley Fair? + +SHALLOW He shall answer it. Some pigeons, Davy, a +couple of short-legged hens, a joint of mutton, and +any pretty little tiny kickshaws, tell William cook. +[Shallow and Davy walk aside.] + +DAVY Doth the man of war stay all night, sir? + +SHALLOW Yea, Davy, I will use him well. A friend i' th' +court is better than a penny in purse. Use his men +well, Davy, for they are arrant knaves and will +backbite. + +DAVY No worse than they are back-bitten, sir, for they +have marvelous foul linen. + +SHALLOW Well-conceited, Davy. About thy business, +Davy. + +DAVY I beseech you, sir, to countenance William Visor +of Woncot against Clement Perkes o' th' hill. + +SHALLOW There is many complaints, Davy, against that +Visor. That Visor is an arrant knave, on my +knowledge. + +DAVY I grant your Worship that he is a knave, sir, but +yet, God forbid, sir, but a knave should have some +countenance at his friend's request. An honest +man, sir, is able to speak for himself when a knave is +not. I have served your Worship truly, sir, this eight +years; an I cannot once or twice in a quarter bear +out a knave against an honest man, I have but a +very little credit with your Worship. The knave is +mine honest friend, sir; therefore I beseech you let +him be countenanced. + +SHALLOW Go to, I say, he shall have no wrong. Look +about, Davy. [Davy exits.] Where are you, Sir John? +Come, come, come, off with your boots.--Give me +your hand, Master Bardolph. + +BARDOLPH I am glad to see your Worship. + +SHALLOW I thank thee with all my heart, kind Master +Bardolph, [(to Page)] and welcome, my tall +fellow.--Come, Sir John. + +FALSTAFF I'll follow you, good Master Robert Shallow. +[Shallow exits.] Bardolph, look to our horses. [Bardolph +and Page exit.] If I were sawed into quantities, +I should make four dozen of such bearded hermits' +staves as Master Shallow. It is a wonderful thing to +see the semblable coherence of his men's spirits +and his. They, by observing of him, do bear +themselves like foolish justices; he, by conversing +with them, is turned into a justice-like servingman. +Their spirits are so married in conjunction with the +participation of society that they flock together in +consent like so many wild geese. If I had a suit to +Master Shallow, I would humor his men with the +imputation of being near their master; if to his men, +I would curry with Master Shallow that no man +could better command his servants. It is certain +that either wise bearing or ignorant carriage is +caught, as men take diseases, one of another. Therefore +let men take heed of their company. I will +devise matter enough out of this Shallow to keep +Prince Harry in continual laughter the wearing out +of six fashions, which is four terms, or two actions, +and he shall laugh without intervallums. O, it is +much that a lie with a slight oath and a jest with a +sad brow will do with a fellow that never had the +ache in his shoulders. O, you shall see him laugh till +his face be like a wet cloak ill laid up. + +SHALLOW, [within] Sir John. + +FALSTAFF I come, Master Shallow, I come, Master +Shallow. +[He exits.] + +Scene 2 +======= +[Enter Warwick and Lord Chief Justice.] + + +WARWICK +How now, my Lord Chief Justice, whither away? + +CHIEF JUSTICE How doth the King? + +WARWICK +Exceeding well. His cares are now all ended. + +CHIEF JUSTICE +I hope, not dead. + +WARWICK He's walked the way of nature, +And to our purposes he lives no more. + +CHIEF JUSTICE +I would his Majesty had called me with him. +The service that I truly did his life +Hath left me open to all injuries. + +WARWICK +Indeed, I think the young king loves you not. + +CHIEF JUSTICE +I know he doth not, and do arm myself +To welcome the condition of the time, +Which cannot look more hideously upon me +Than I have drawn it in my fantasy. + +[Enter John, Thomas, and Humphrey.] + + +WARWICK +Here come the heavy issue of dead Harry. +O, that the living Harry had the temper +Of he the worst of these three gentlemen! +How many nobles then should hold their places +That must strike sail to spirits of vile sort! + +CHIEF JUSTICE +O God, I fear all will be overturned. + +JOHN OF LANCASTER +Good morrow, cousin Warwick, good morrow. + +HUMPHREY OF GLOUCESTER, THOMAS OF CLARENCE Good morrow, cousin. + +JOHN OF LANCASTER +We meet like men that had forgot to speak. + +WARWICK +We do remember, but our argument +Is all too heavy to admit much talk. + +JOHN OF LANCASTER +Well, peace be with him that hath made us heavy. + +CHIEF JUSTICE +Peace be with us, lest we be heavier. + +HUMPHREY OF GLOUCESTER +O, good my lord, you have lost a friend indeed, +And I dare swear you borrow not that face +Of seeming sorrow; it is sure your own. + +JOHN OF LANCASTER, [to the Chief Justice] +Though no man be assured what grace to find, +You stand in coldest expectation. +I am the sorrier; would 'twere otherwise. + +THOMAS OF CLARENCE +Well, you must now speak Sir John Falstaff fair, +Which swims against your stream of quality. + +CHIEF JUSTICE +Sweet princes, what I did I did in honor, +Led by th' impartial conduct of my soul; +And never shall you see that I will beg +A ragged and forestalled remission. +If truth and upright innocency fail me, +I'll to the king my master that is dead +And tell him who hath sent me after him. + +[Enter the Prince, as Henry V, and Blunt.] + + +WARWICK Here comes the Prince. + +CHIEF JUSTICE +Good morrow, and God save your Majesty. + +PRINCE +This new and gorgeous garment majesty +Sits not so easy on me as you think.-- +Brothers, you mix your sadness with some fear. +This is the English, not the Turkish court; +Not Amurath an Amurath succeeds, +But Harry Harry. Yet be sad, good brothers, +For, by my faith, it very well becomes you. +Sorrow so royally in you appears +That I will deeply put the fashion on +And wear it in my heart. Why then, be sad. +But entertain no more of it, good brothers, +Than a joint burden laid upon us all. +For me, by heaven, I bid you be assured, +I'll be your father and your brother too. +Let me but bear your love, I'll bear your cares. +Yet weep that Harry's dead, and so will I, +But Harry lives that shall convert those tears +By number into hours of happiness. + +BROTHERS +We hope no otherwise from your Majesty. + +PRINCE +You all look strangely on me. [To the Chief Justice.] +And you most. +You are, I think, assured I love you not. + +CHIEF JUSTICE +I am assured, if I be measured rightly, +Your Majesty hath no just cause to hate me. + +PRINCE +No? How might a prince of my great hopes forget +So great indignities you laid upon me? +What, rate, rebuke, and roughly send to prison +Th' immediate heir of England? Was this easy? +May this be washed in Lethe and forgotten? + +CHIEF JUSTICE +I then did use the person of your father; +The image of his power lay then in me. +And in th' administration of his law, +Whiles I was busy for the commonwealth, +Your Highness pleased to forget my place, +The majesty and power of law and justice, +The image of the King whom I presented, +And struck me in my very seat of judgment, +Whereon, as an offender to your father, +I gave bold way to my authority +And did commit you. If the deed were ill, +Be you contented, wearing now the garland, +To have a son set your decrees at nought? +To pluck down justice from your awful bench? +To trip the course of law and blunt the sword +That guards the peace and safety of your person? +Nay more, to spurn at your most royal image +And mock your workings in a second body? +Question your royal thoughts, make the case yours; +Be now the father and propose a son, +Hear your own dignity so much profaned, +See your most dreadful laws so loosely slighted, +Behold yourself so by a son disdained, +And then imagine me taking your part +And in your power soft silencing your son. +After this cold considerance, sentence me, +And, as you are a king, speak in your state +What I have done that misbecame my place, +My person, or my liege's sovereignty. + +PRINCE +You are right, justice, and you weigh this well. +Therefore still bear the balance and the sword. +And I do wish your honors may increase +Till you do live to see a son of mine +Offend you and obey you as I did. +So shall I live to speak my father's words: +"Happy am I that have a man so bold +That dares do justice on my proper son; +And not less happy, having such a son +That would deliver up his greatness so +Into the hands of justice." You did commit me, +For which I do commit into your hand +Th' unstained sword that you have used to bear, +With this remembrance: that you use the same +With the like bold, just, and impartial spirit +As you have done 'gainst me. There is my hand. +[They clasp hands.] +You shall be as a father to my youth, +My voice shall sound as you do prompt mine ear, +And I will stoop and humble my intents +To your well-practiced wise directions.-- +And, princes all, believe me, I beseech you: +My father is gone wild into his grave, +For in his tomb lie my affections, +And with his spirits sadly I survive +To mock the expectation of the world, +To frustrate prophecies, and to raze out +Rotten opinion, who hath writ me down +After my seeming. The tide of blood in me +Hath proudly flowed in vanity till now. +Now doth it turn and ebb back to the sea, +Where it shall mingle with the state of floods +And flow henceforth in formal majesty. +Now call we our high court of parliament, +And let us choose such limbs of noble counsel +That the great body of our state may go +In equal rank with the best-governed nation; +That war, or peace, or both at once, may be +As things acquainted and familiar to us, +[To the Chief Justice.] In which you, father, shall +have foremost hand. +Our coronation done, we will accite, +As I before remembered, all our state. +And, God consigning to my good intents, +No prince nor peer shall have just cause to say +God shorten Harry's happy life one day. +[They exit.] + +Scene 3 +======= +[Enter Sir John Falstaff, Shallow, Silence, Davy, +Bardolph, and Page.] + + +SHALLOW Nay, you shall see my orchard, where, in an +arbor, we will eat a last year's pippin of mine own +graffing, with a dish of caraways, and so forth.-- +Come, cousin Silence.--And then to bed. + +FALSTAFF Fore God, you have here a goodly dwelling, +and a rich. + +SHALLOW Barren, barren, barren, beggars all, beggars +all, Sir John. Marry, good air.--Spread, Davy, +spread, Davy. Well said, Davy. + +FALSTAFF This Davy serves you for good uses. He is +your servingman and your husband. + +SHALLOW A good varlet, a good varlet, a very good +varlet, Sir John. By the Mass, I have drunk too +much sack at supper. A good varlet. Now sit down, +now sit down.--Come, cousin. + +SILENCE Ah, sirrah, quoth he, we shall +[Sings.] Do nothing but eat and make good cheer, + And praise God for the merry year, + When flesh is cheap and females dear, + And lusty lads roam here and there + So merrily, + And ever among so merrily. + +FALSTAFF There's a merry heart!--Good Master Silence, +I'll give you a health for that anon. + +SHALLOW Give Master Bardolph some wine, Davy. + +DAVY, [to the guests] Sweet sir, sit. I'll be with you +anon. Most sweet sir, sit. Master page, good master +page, sit. Proface. What you want in meat, we'll +have in drink, but you must bear. The heart's all. +[He exits.] + +SHALLOW Be merry, Master Bardolph.--And, my little +soldier there, be merry. + +SILENCE [sings] + Be merry, be merry, my wife has all, + For women are shrews, both short and tall. + 'Tis merry in hall when beards wags all, + And welcome merry Shrovetide. + Be merry, be merry. + +FALSTAFF I did not think Master Silence had been a +man of this mettle. + +SILENCE Who, I? I have been merry twice and once ere +now. + +[Enter Davy.] + + +DAVY, [to the guests] There's a dish of leather-coats for +you. + +SHALLOW Davy! + +DAVY Your Worship, I'll be with you straight.--A cup +of wine, sir. + +SILENCE [sings] + A cup of wine that's brisk and fine, + And drink unto thee, leman mine, + And a merry heart lives long-a. + +FALSTAFF Well said, Master Silence. + +SILENCE And we shall be merry; now comes in the +sweet o' th' night. + +FALSTAFF Health and long life to you, Master Silence. + +SILENCE [sings] + Fill the cup, and let it come, + I'll pledge you a mile to th' bottom. + +SHALLOW Honest Bardolph, welcome. If thou want'st +anything and wilt not call, beshrew thy heart.-- +Welcome, my little tiny thief, and welcome indeed +too. I'll drink to Master Bardolph, and to all the +cabileros about London. + +DAVY I hope to see London once ere I die. + +BARDOLPH An I might see you there, Davy! + +SHALLOW By the Mass, you'll crack a quart together, +ha, will you not, Master Bardolph? + +BARDOLPH Yea, sir, in a pottle-pot. + +SHALLOW By God's liggens, I thank thee. The knave +will stick by thee, I can assure thee that. He will not +out, he. 'Tis true bred! + +BARDOLPH And I'll stick by him, sir. + +SHALLOW Why, there spoke a king. Lack nothing, be +merry. [(One knocks at door.)] Look who's at door +there, ho. Who knocks? [Davy exits.] + +FALSTAFF Why, now you have done me right. + +SILENCE [sings] + Do me right, + And dub me knight, + Samingo. +Is 't not so? + +FALSTAFF 'Tis so. + +SILENCE Is 't so? Why then, say an old man can do +somewhat. + +[Enter Davy.] + + +DAVY An 't please your Worship, there's one Pistol +come from the court with news. + +FALSTAFF From the court? Let him come in. + +[Enter Pistol.] + +How now, Pistol? + +PISTOL Sir John, God save you. + +FALSTAFF What wind blew you hither, Pistol? + +PISTOL Not the ill wind which blows no man to good. +Sweet knight, thou art now one of the greatest men +in this realm. + +SILENCE By 'r Lady, I think he be, but Goodman Puff of +Barson. + +PISTOL Puff? +Puff in thy teeth, most recreant coward base!-- +Sir John, I am thy Pistol and thy friend, +And helter-skelter have I rode to thee, +And tidings do I bring, and lucky joys, +And golden times, and happy news of price. + +FALSTAFF I pray thee now, deliver them like a man of +this world. + +PISTOL +A foutre for the world and worldlings base! +I speak of Africa and golden joys. + +FALSTAFF +O base Assyrian knight, what is thy news? +Let King Cophetua know the truth thereof. + +SILENCE [sings] + And Robin Hood, Scarlet, and John. + +PISTOL +Shall dunghill curs confront the Helicons, +And shall good news be baffled? +Then, Pistol, lay thy head in Furies' lap. + +SHALLOW Honest gentleman, I know not your +breeding. + +PISTOL Why then, lament therefor. + +SHALLOW Give me pardon, sir. If, sir, you come with +news from the court, I take it there's but two ways, +either to utter them, or to conceal them. I am, sir, +under the King in some authority. + +PISTOL +Under which king, besonian? Speak or die. + +SHALLOW +Under King Harry. + +PISTOL Harry the Fourth, or Fifth? + +SHALLOW +Harry the Fourth. + +PISTOL A foutre for thine office!-- +Sir John, thy tender lambkin now is king. +Harry the Fifth's the man. I speak the truth. +When Pistol lies, do this and fig me, like +The bragging Spaniard. [Pistol makes a fig.] + +FALSTAFF What, is the old king dead? + +PISTOL +As nail in door. The things I speak are just. + +FALSTAFF Away, Bardolph.--Saddle my horse.-- +Master Robert Shallow, choose what office thou +wilt in the land, 'tis thine.--Pistol, I will double-charge +thee with dignities. + +BARDOLPH O joyful day! I would not take a knight-hood +for my fortune. + +PISTOL What, I do bring good news! + +FALSTAFF Carry Master Silence to bed.--Master Shallow, +my Lord Shallow, be what thou wilt. I am +Fortune's steward. Get on thy boots. We'll ride all +night.--O sweet Pistol!--Away, Bardolph!--Come, +Pistol, utter more to me, and withal devise something +to do thyself good.--Boot, boot, Master Shallow. +I know the young king is sick for me. Let us +take any man's horses. The laws of England are at +my commandment. Blessed are they that have been +my friends, and woe to my Lord Chief Justice! + +PISTOL +Let vultures vile seize on his lungs also! +"Where is the life that late I led?" say they. +Why, here it is. Welcome these pleasant days. +[They exit.] + +Scene 4 +======= +[Enter Hostess Quickly, Doll Tearsheet, and Beadles.] + + +HOSTESS No, thou arrant knave. I would to God that I +might die, that I might have thee hanged. Thou hast +drawn my shoulder out of joint. + +BEADLE The Constables have delivered her over to me, +and she shall have whipping cheer enough, I +warrant her. There hath been a man or two lately +killed about her. + +DOLL Nut-hook, nut-hook, you lie! Come on, I'll tell +thee what, thou damned tripe-visaged rascal: an the +child I now go with do miscarry, thou wert better +thou hadst struck thy mother, thou paper-faced +villain. + +HOSTESS O the Lord, that Sir John were come! I would +make this a bloody day to somebody. But I pray God +the fruit of her womb might miscarry. + +BEADLE If it do, you shall have a dozen of cushions +again; you have but eleven now. Come, I charge you +both go with me, for the man is dead that you and +Pistol beat amongst you. + +DOLL I'll tell you what, you thin man in a censer, I will +have you as soundly swinged for this, you bluebottle +rogue, you filthy famished correctioner. If you be +not swinged, I'll forswear half-kirtles. + +BEADLE Come, come, you she-knight-errant, come. + +HOSTESS O God, that right should thus overcome +might! Well, of sufferance comes ease. + +DOLL Come, you rogue, come, bring me to a justice. + +HOSTESS Ay, come, you starved bloodhound. + +DOLL Goodman Death, Goodman Bones! + +HOSTESS Thou atomy, thou! + +DOLL Come, you thin thing, come, you rascal. + +BEADLE Very well. +[They exit.] + +Scene 5 +======= +[Enter two Grooms.] + + +FIRST GROOM More rushes, more rushes. + +SECOND GROOM The trumpets have sounded twice. + +FIRST GROOM 'Twill be two o'clock ere they come +from the coronation. Dispatch, dispatch. +[Grooms exit.] + +[Trumpets sound, and the King and his train pass over +the stage. After them enter Falstaff, Shallow, Pistol, +Bardolph, and the Page.] + + +FALSTAFF Stand here by me, Master Robert Shallow. I +will make the King do you grace. I will leer upon +him as he comes by, and do but mark the countenance +that he will give me. + +PISTOL God bless thy lungs, good knight! + +FALSTAFF Come here, Pistol, stand behind me.--O, if I +had had time to have made new liveries, I would +have bestowed the thousand pound I borrowed of +you. But 'tis no matter. This poor show doth better. +This doth infer the zeal I had to see him. + +SHALLOW It doth so. + +FALSTAFF It shows my earnestness of affection-- + +SHALLOW It doth so. + +FALSTAFF My devotion-- + +SHALLOW It doth, it doth, it doth. + +FALSTAFF As it were, to ride day and night, and not to +deliberate, not to remember, not to have patience +to shift me-- + +SHALLOW It is best, certain. + +FALSTAFF But to stand stained with travel and sweating +with desire to see him, thinking of nothing else, +putting all affairs else in oblivion, as if there were +nothing else to be done but to see him. + +PISTOL 'Tis semper idem, for obsque hoc nihil est; 'tis +all in every part. + +SHALLOW 'Tis so indeed. + +PISTOL My knight, I will inflame thy noble liver, and +make thee rage. Thy Doll and Helen of thy noble +thoughts is in base durance and contagious prison, +haled thither by most mechanical and dirty hand. +Rouse up revenge from ebon den with fell Alecto's +snake, for Doll is in. Pistol speaks nought but truth. + +FALSTAFF I will deliver her. +[Shouts within. The trumpets sound.] + +PISTOL +There roared the sea, and trumpet-clangor sounds. + +[Enter the King and his train.] + + +FALSTAFF +God save thy Grace, King Hal, my royal Hal. + +PISTOL +The heavens thee guard and keep, most royal +imp of fame! + +FALSTAFF God save thee, my sweet boy! + +KING +My Lord Chief Justice, speak to that vain man. + +CHIEF JUSTICE, [to Falstaff] +Have you your wits? Know you what 'tis you +speak? + +FALSTAFF, [to the King] +My king, my Jove, I speak to thee, my heart! + +KING +I know thee not, old man. Fall to thy prayers. +How ill white hairs becomes a fool and jester. +I have long dreamt of such a kind of man, +So surfeit-swelled, so old, and so profane; +But being awaked, I do despise my dream. +Make less thy body hence, and more thy grace; +Leave gormandizing. Know the grave doth gape +For thee thrice wider than for other men. +Reply not to me with a fool-born jest. +Presume not that I am the thing I was, +For God doth know--so shall the world perceive-- +That I have turned away my former self. +So will I those that kept me company. +When thou dost hear I am as I have been, +Approach me, and thou shalt be as thou wast, +The tutor and the feeder of my riots. +Till then I banish thee, on pain of death, +As I have done the rest of my misleaders, +Not to come near our person by ten mile. +For competence of life I will allow you, +That lack of means enforce you not to evils. +And, as we hear you do reform yourselves, +We will, according to your strengths and qualities, +Give you advancement. [To the Lord Chief Justice.] +Be it your charge, my lord, +To see performed the tenor of my word.-- +Set on. +[King and his train exit.] + +FALSTAFF Master Shallow, I owe you a thousand pound. + +SHALLOW Yea, marry, Sir John, which I beseech you to +let me have home with me. + +FALSTAFF That can hardly be, Master Shallow. Do not +you grieve at this. I shall be sent for in private to +him. Look you, he must seem thus to the world. +Fear not your advancements. I will be the man yet +that shall make you great. + +SHALLOW I cannot well perceive how, unless you +should give me your doublet and stuff me out with +straw. I beseech you, good Sir John, let me have five +hundred of my thousand. + +FALSTAFF Sir, I will be as good as my word. This that +you heard was but a color. + +SHALLOW A color that I fear you will die in, Sir John. + +FALSTAFF Fear no colors. Go with me to dinner.-- +Come, lieutenant Pistol.--Come, Bardolph.--I +shall be sent for soon at night. + +[Enter the Lord Chief Justice and Prince John, with +Officers.] + + +CHIEF JUSTICE +Go, carry Sir John Falstaff to the Fleet. +Take all his company along with him. + +FALSTAFF My lord, my lord -- + +CHIEF JUSTICE +I cannot now speak. I will hear you soon.-- +Take them away. + +PISTOL Si fortuna me tormenta, spero me contenta. +[All but John of Lancaster and +Chief Justice exit.] + +JOHN OF LANCASTER +I like this fair proceeding of the King's. +He hath intent his wonted followers +Shall all be very well provided for, +But all are banished till their conversations +Appear more wise and modest to the world. + +CHIEF JUSTICE And so they are. + +JOHN OF LANCASTER +The King hath called his parliament, my lord. + +CHIEF JUSTICE He hath. + +JOHN OF LANCASTER +I will lay odds that, ere this year expire, +We bear our civil swords and native fire +As far as France. I heard a bird so sing, +Whose music, to my thinking, pleased the King. +Come, will you hence? +[They exit.] + + +EPILOGUE +======== + + First my fear, then my curtsy, last my speech. My +fear is your displeasure, my curtsy my duty, and my +speech, to beg your pardons. If you look for a good +speech now, you undo me, for what I have to say is +of mine own making, and what indeed I should say +will, I doubt, prove mine own marring. + But to the purpose, and so to the venture. Be it +known to you, as it is very well, I was lately here in +the end of a displeasing play to pray your patience +for it and to promise you a better. I meant indeed to +pay you with this, which, if like an ill venture it +come unluckily home, I break, and you, my gentle +creditors, lose. Here I promised you I would be, +and here I commit my body to your mercies. Bate +me some, and I will pay you some, and, as most +debtors do, promise you infinitely. And so I kneel +down before you, but, indeed, to pray for the +Queen. + If my tongue cannot entreat you to acquit me, +will you command me to use my legs? And yet that +were but light payment, to dance out of your debt. +But a good conscience will make any possible +satisfaction, and so would I. All the gentlewomen +here have forgiven me; if the gentlemen will not, +then the gentlemen do not agree with the gentlewomen, +which was never seen before in such an +assembly. + One word more, I beseech you: if you be not too +much cloyed with fat meat, our humble author will +continue the story, with Sir John in it, and make +you merry with fair Katherine of France, where, for +anything I know, Falstaff shall die of a sweat, unless +already he be killed with your hard opinions; for +Oldcastle died a martyr, and this is not the man. +My tongue is weary; when my legs are too, I will bid +you good night. \ No newline at end of file